What was supposed to be a secret trip caught by Phoenix Paparazzi..."
After spending over two hours inside the Talons’ front office, Gertie allegedly stormed out, clutching her mysterious briefcase even tighter than before. One source—a low-level intern who asked to remain anonymous (but who we’ll call Todd, because let’s be honest, he looks like a Todd)—claims he overheard shouting and the phrase “THIS IS AN INSULT TO BASEBALL!” before Gertie threw what appeared to be a VHS tape at Marko’s desk and stormed off.
But here’s where things get really crazy — Talons security, clearly rattled by the events unfolding, attempted to detain Gertie before she could leave the facility. That’s right, folks — an innocent 90-year-old superfan was nearly TACKLED in broad daylight.
Did that stop Gertie? Absolutely not. Witnesses describe a tense standoff between her and three confused security guards, where she allegedly shouted, “If you lay a hand on me, I’ll make sure every damn Denny’s in this country starts serving Waffle House hashbrowns instead!” The guards, clearly unsure how to respond, let her pass—but not before she spun around and delivered one final blow:
“I hope you enjoy your frozen pancakes, because Manobu Shimizu deserves better than this disgrace!”
Then, in an unbelievable twist, Gertie booked it across the parking lot, got into an unmarked black SUV, and disappeared into the Phoenix afternoon. Some say she was spotted heading toward a private jet at an undisclosed airstrip, but no one knows for sure.
One final question remains: What was on that VHS tape? Was it proof of a larger conspiracy? A desperate attempt to sway Marko? Or just an old Hootie and the blowfish concert recording meant to expose the true mastermind behind this whole saga?
One thing is for sure—Gertie isn’t done yet. If we know anything about this Madison legend, it’s that she’ll do whatever it takes to right the wrongs of baseball.
Stay tuned for more updates as this jaw-dropping story unfolds.
@jiminyhopkins
