Phoenix Talons

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2044-00009: Talons Fall for Clickbait; Click On an Article That Has Phoenix in the Title, Has Nothing to do With Phoenix

Last post by Ted « Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:40 pm
Replies: 1
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:08 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons are normally fastidious when they surf the web. They keep a wary eye open for scams, fake news, and clickbait. But a recent...

1 Replies

20 Views

Last post by Ted
Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:40 pm
2044-00007: Talons are so Inept That They Had to be Informed by Fellow GM that the Talons Threw a No Hitter 2 Weeks Ago

Last post by CTBrewCrew « Mon Sep 21, 2020 7:24 pm
Replies: 8
by jiminyhopkins » Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:02 pm

Rating: 9.26%

Phoenix, AZ--

Yeah, this is so bad, the Talons actually have to violate their long-standing No Team News Articles on Sim Night rule.

In possibly...

8 Replies

67 Views

Last post by CTBrewCrew
Mon Sep 21, 2020 7:24 pm
2044-00008: Talons Ask, For a Friend, How Soon Can a FA Signee be Traded? The Talons are Asking. You Know, For a Friend.

Last post by Ted « Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:56 pm
Replies: 3
by jiminyhopkins » Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:48 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons have this friend, you see, and he runs a fake baseball team. This friend, well, he had a pitcher who got hurt. So this...

3 Replies

31 Views

Last post by Ted
Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:56 pm
2044-00006: Talons Have Pretty Much Given Up on Competing at the ML Level. But They Have One Hell of a Single A Team!

Last post by HoosierVic « Wed Sep 16, 2020 3:50 pm
Replies: 4
by jiminyhopkins » Fri Sep 11, 2020 9:00 am

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

With an early season record of 5-7 and a current showing of 7th place in whatever division they play in*, the Talons are off on...

4 Replies

45 Views

Last post by HoosierVic
Wed Sep 16, 2020 3:50 pm
2044-00005: Talons GM: "The Highlight of my Life is to Occupy 30 Whole Seconds of a 3 Hour Youtube Video"

Last post by HoosierVic « Thu Sep 10, 2020 1:59 pm
Replies: 3
by jiminyhopkins » Thu Sep 10, 2020 6:20 am

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

The Reclusive Talons GM is famous!

Yep, as evidenced by a recently posted 3 hour, 8 minute youtube video of a zoom chat, where the GM...

3 Replies

42 Views

Last post by HoosierVic
Thu Sep 10, 2020 1:59 pm
2044-00003: Talons Grandiose Plans for Another Series of Season Preview Articles are Dashed by Well-Meaning Fellow GM

Last post by CTBrewCrew « Tue Sep 08, 2020 10:57 pm
Replies: 8
by jiminyhopkins » Mon Sep 07, 2020 12:48 pm

Rating: 7.41%

Phoenix, AZ--

Although its been quite a while since we've seen it happen, not too long ago there used to be a tradition in Phoenix. Eschewing the...

8 Replies

90 Views

Last post by CTBrewCrew
Tue Sep 08, 2020 10:57 pm
2044-00004: Talons Discover That Talons Jinxed Themselves by Predicting Injury to P Don Smith Nearly Two Seasons Ago

Last post by RonCo « Tue Sep 08, 2020 1:34 am
Replies: 4
by jiminyhopkins » Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:07 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

The circumstances behind the injury woes of Talons SP Don Smith continue to get worse.

As everyone knows, and is tired of hearing...

4 Replies

40 Views

Last post by RonCo
Tue Sep 08, 2020 1:34 am
2044-00001: Talons Trade for Don Smith is the Worst in BBA History, and It's Not Even Close

Last post by RonCo « Mon Sep 07, 2020 12:07 am
Replies: 7
by jiminyhopkins » Thu Aug 27, 2020 3:15 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

With the injury setback to SP Don Smith leaving his future very much in doubt, some are proclaiming the Talons trade that brought him...

7 Replies

87 Views

Last post by RonCo
Mon Sep 07, 2020 12:07 am
2044-00002: Talons GM Has a Special Message for All You Free Agent Baseball Players Out There in Computer Land

Last post by RonCo « Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:56 pm
Replies: 5
by jiminyhopkins » Wed Sep 02, 2020 3:40 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons have not had a good time lately. In addition to the injury woes of SP Don Smith , the club has not had much luck in...

5 Replies

55 Views

Last post by RonCo
Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:56 pm
2043-00018: Talons File Lawsuit Against Tow Truck Company That Was Supposed to Help SP Don Smith Change His Flat Tire

Last post by HoosierVic « Wed Aug 19, 2020 7:40 am
Replies: 5
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Aug 18, 2020 8:33 am

Rating: 5.56%

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons have reportedly sued the roadside assistance company that was supposed to help one of their pitchers change a tire.

In the...

5 Replies

85 Views

Last post by HoosierVic
Wed Aug 19, 2020 7:40 am
2043-00020: Talons Intern With Degree from University of Phoenix Falls Asleep on Keyboard Trying to Make PPT Deadline

Last post by HoosierVic « Wed Aug 19, 2020 7:34 am
Replies: 2
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:13 pm

Rating: 3.7%

Phoenix, AZ--

This season, one thing is for sure: the Phoenix Talons are a an absolutely horrible baseball...

2 Replies

41 Views

Last post by HoosierVic
Wed Aug 19, 2020 7:34 am
2043-00019: Talons Announce Second Annual Bullshit Minor League Awards

Last post by jiminyhopkins « Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:14 pm
Replies: 2
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:34 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

Yep, it's that time of year again. Time to take a stroll through the Phoenix minor league system and see which players are deserving...

2 Replies

35 Views

Last post by jiminyhopkins
Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:14 pm
2043-00015: Talons GM to FPL: "DROP DEAD" (Also, [redacted])

Last post by CTBrewCrew « Sun Aug 16, 2020 10:50 am
Replies: 6
by jiminyhopkins » Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:48 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

FPL Triggers GM (Again)

The reclusive GM of the Phoenix Talons was triggered again today upon hearing that the Florida Prospect...

6 Replies

60 Views

Last post by CTBrewCrew
Sun Aug 16, 2020 10:50 am
2043-00017: Talons Closer Mitchell Purssell is Pretty Pissed Off That He Won't Win Fireman of the Year This Season

Last post by CTBrewCrew « Sun Aug 16, 2020 10:41 am
Replies: 2
by jiminyhopkins » Sat Aug 15, 2020 5:45 pm

Phoenix, AZ--

No one cares about actual closers anymore.

With a proliferation of stoppers and the like, the traditional role of closer is somewhat...

2 Replies

41 Views

Last post by CTBrewCrew
Sun Aug 16, 2020 10:41 am
2043-00016: Talons Determine that Previous Team News was Too Long; Decide to Split It Up for More "Participation" Points

Last post by RonCo « Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:05 pm
Replies: 8
by jiminyhopkins » Thu Aug 13, 2020 4:38 pm

Rating: 7.41%

Phoenix, AZ--

Some say that brevity is the soul of wit. But in the BBA, brevity is worth more points.

Keeping that in mind, the Talons took a look...

8 Replies

80 Views

Last post by RonCo
Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:05 pm
2043-00014: Talons News Roundup: Talons Get Participation-Shamed, Also Talons are Hearing Rumors of a Devastating Injury

Last post by Lane « Fri Jul 31, 2020 8:11 pm
Replies: 1
by jiminyhopkins » Fri Jul 31, 2020 2:48 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons have been Participation-Shamed

Never a franchise to be especially prolific with their articles, the Talons for the most...

1 Replies

49 Views

Last post by Lane
Fri Jul 31, 2020 8:11 pm
2043-00001: Talons Add Extra Zeros to News Counter to Reflect Ambitious Goal of 99,999 Team News Articles

Last post by RonCo « Thu Jul 30, 2020 11:32 pm
Replies: 12
by jiminyhopkins » Tue May 26, 2020 7:56 am

Rating: 20.37%

Phoenix, AZ--

Nobody reads this crap, eh? Well the Talons say Who Cares!

The Talons front office had a bit of a sad yesterday as they looked over...

12 Replies

236 Views

Last post by RonCo
Thu Jul 30, 2020 11:32 pm
2043-00013: Talons Continue Tradition of Enthusiastically Posting News at Beginning of Season, Then Losing Interest

Last post by jiminyhopkins « Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:25 pm

by jiminyhopkins » Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:25 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

It's like the changing of the seasons.

Like so many years before, the Talons have held true to the traditional pattern of posting a...

0 Replies

63 Views

Last post by jiminyhopkins
Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:25 pm
2043-00012: Talons Abandon Previous Team News Gimmick, Also Talons Don't Know Where to Post Their Latest PODCAST

Last post by shoeless.db « Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:46 pm
Replies: 1
by jiminyhopkins » Fri Jun 26, 2020 10:16 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

Yeah, so the previous thing where someone suggested that the Talons post Team Newses one letter at a time, and the Talons actually...

1 Replies

77 Views

Last post by shoeless.db
Thu Jul 09, 2020 12:46 pm
2043-00011: Talons Take Valuable Advice From Fellow GM to Further Their Ambitious Goals

Last post by jiminyhopkins « Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:37 pm

by jiminyhopkins » Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:37 pm

Rating: 3.7%

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0 Replies

75 Views

Last post by jiminyhopkins
Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:37 pm
2043-00010: Talons Draft Power Hitting C/2B/LF in First Round. The Other 19 Guys Amount to a Steaming Heap of Shit.

Last post by CTBrewCrew « Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:13 pm
Replies: 2
by jiminyhopkins » Wed Jun 24, 2020 8:27 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

The Talons were pretty excited to watch the highest rated (75) player fall to them at ninth overall.

Having set up their draft list...

2 Replies

118 Views

Last post by CTBrewCrew
Thu Jun 25, 2020 9:13 pm
2043-00009: Talons Set Draft to 'Auto' Before Making First Pick (Just Like 2035) (And 2040)

Last post by RonCo « Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:58 pm
Replies: 3
by jiminyhopkins » Sun Jun 14, 2020 12:01 am

Phoenix, AZ--

The Phoenix Talons today have announced that they are going to set their draft to Auto Draft for the duration of the draft, despite...

3 Replies

150 Views

Last post by RonCo
Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:58 pm
2043-00002: Talons, Suddenly Hit With "Markus Tax", Are Forced to Raise Price of World Famous $3 Sushi to Compensate

Last post by 7teen « Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:44 pm
Replies: 4
by jiminyhopkins » Tue May 26, 2020 8:24 am

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

With another offseason comes changes. It always happens that way, and this winter is no exception.

The Talons, fresh off another...

4 Replies

117 Views

Last post by 7teen
Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:44 pm
2043-00007: Talons Team News Draft Folder Gives Fascinating Glimpse of What Might Have Been

Last post by 7teen « Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:42 pm
Replies: 1
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Jun 09, 2020 4:05 pm

Rating: 5.56%

Phoenix, AZ--

Hey readers, Rob Powers here, your loyal Sports/Investigative News reporter at the world reknowned Phoenix Sun Times Post Dispatch...

1 Replies

107 Views

Last post by 7teen
Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:42 pm
2043-00006: Talons Take Advantage of Amazing Buy One Get One Free Sale on IFA Corner Outfielders

Last post by 7teen « Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:39 pm
Replies: 4
by jiminyhopkins » Tue Jun 09, 2020 2:40 pm

Rating: 1.85%

Phoenix, AZ--

After being shut out of any major free agent signings (as is usually the case because the GM is afraid to spend long term money...

4 Replies

150 Views

Last post by 7teen
Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:39 pm

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