20 June 2061
Boise, Idaho
**********************************
by Stubby Bardenwerper
Some team was one of the walking dead and didn't even know it. Until now. Sim #12 (recap) was as brutal as having a proctologist tell you the hemorrhoids need surgery. Or can't be removed...either one, really. It started, as all sad stories do, with a hopeful day in the Spuds taking the first game of the Sim from New Orleans. Then it got dark. Really, really dark. Boise lost the last 2 games of the Crawdads series then getting swept in 4 at Montreal. There were no blowouts, per se, but Spuds pitching allowed 4.7 runs per game while the offense could only manage an eye-popping 3.1. Anyway, on to the good little stories...
SPUDS OF THE SIM - SIM #12
Pitcher
P Buddhapalita Kankipati
10 G, 1 GS, 23.0 IP, 1.57 ERA, 1.09 WHIP, -0.1 WAR
P Brian Groves made the most of 2 appearances tossing 2.2 innings striking out 2. P Juan Guzmán seemed much more comfortable back in the bullpen where he threw 1.1 innings fanning 2. SP Mario Reyes did the job put before him in Sim #12 having 1 start and going 6.2 innings allowing 3 runs with 5 strikeouts. But the nod goes to Kankipati, who rarely sees a start being mostly a reliever. In Sim #12, he took the hill in Montreal and went 5.2 innings allowing no runs on 5 hits while striking out 3. Hey, don't hate on The Times.
Batter
1B Pedro 'The Russian Rocket' Hozven
70 G, 226 AB, 13 2B, 11 HR, 30 RBI, .257/.329/.460, 1 SB, +0.4 WAR
Hard to think of a time the offense has been more anemic than it has been this June. DH Abu 'Iron Man' Wamukota delivered 4 RBI on a double and 2 triples. CF Lou Bayou had 2 doubles, 3 RBI, and 2 stolen bases. But Hozven came out of his 2061 regression for just a bit to slash .350/.409/.700 and collect 4 RBI on a double and 2 HR.
Sim #12: P Buddhapalita Kankipati, 1B Pedro 'The Russian Rocket' Hozven
Sim #11: P Paul Cherry, 3B Bill Kuhn
Sim #10: SP Jeremy Nickerson, C Tadanobu Otani
Sim #9: SP Doug Eckhoff, 1B Tracy Allison
Sim #8: P Buddhapalita Kankipati, 3B Bill Kuhn
Sim #7: SP Doug Eckhoff, 1B Tracy Allison
Sim #6: SP Mario Reyes, RF Martin Hemming
Sim #5: SP Mario Reyes, 3B Bill Kuhn
Sim #4: SP Mahad 'Furball' Einan, RF Martin Hemming
Sim #3: P Jeremy Nickerson, CF Lou Bayou
Sim #2: SP Robert Hanson, DH Bill Kuhn
Sim #1: SP Doug Eckhoff, SS Dan Raymond