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SPRING TRAINING OPENS WITH RRREVOLUTIONARY CONCERT
Husbands, Wives, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, and All significant Others Welcomed to Catalina Island - And Beyond!
February 25, 2057
The newly relocated Bikini Krill celebrated the launch of their new spring training facility, located in the historic valleys of Catalina Island. The site is rumored to have been among the options that owner P. Moreau Westmoreland had considered for the big club before deciding that it made for a better spring training facility than the more splashy Bikini Atoll.
Opening night was celebrated with a party headlined by The Krill Is Gone, a popular tribute band, who opened up with “Double Dare Ya,” dedicated mysteriously to Sacramento GM sholess Olmstead and permeated with chants of Utbah Utbah in the spaces between whatever works as a chorus for that song. They then moved on to “Suck My Left One,” which was clearly a fan favorite. The entire night finished with, appropriately, “Rebel Girl.”
Between each song, the band discussed the pre-season predictions that have the Krill finishing at 72 wins, with lead singer Kitty Hannah suggesting that “Wins” are simply establishment measures that mean nothing, and announcing that they had signed a season-long contract to play the 7th inning stretch. “Call it our own little revolution every night!” Hannah screamed as the band tore into the opening riffs of the next songs.
Everyone seemed to enjoy it, particularly the players’ families, who were all invited to the festivities and transported in using the highly advanced Come Together Doors that Westy Westmoreland is arguably using the team to launch into full relevance.
“We understand there has been some reluctance about the door from around the league, particularly about how it might impact players and their significant others. And we are certainly aware that people of lesser minds have a tendency to fear the things they don’t understand,” said GM Ron Collins, who had perhaps had an extra Mai Tai or three, and was waving a fourth around as he spoke between songs. “But Westy’s going to go around them all, and make sure that the player’s families have a great time at every homestand we have—so I think he’ll be whooshing all the visitor’s closest families to the entire Marshall Islands to experience Forever Land close-up.”
It does appear to be an offer too good to turn down, now, doesn’t it? If opposing teams and their players say no to the free spin, then one would expect those same significant others to be a bit, perhaps, miffed. Time will tell, but it’s an interesting gambit from an owner who appears to be merely warming up when it comes to extending promotional opportunities based on the many advances he has his fingers in.
When asked if that wouldn’t be cost prohibitive, Collins chuckled. “Westy is stingy with the team’s budget, but the guy has more money than most countries. If he wants to do something, he’ll find a way to make a profit from it.”
# # #
In the meantime, spring training starts tomorrow, bright and early. So we’ll get a firsthand chance to see how the genetically modified alcohol scrubbers that Westmoreland unveiled after the show might work. “Hangover Begone!” Westy said, raising a glass to a raucous round of cheers.
Husbands, Wives, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, and All significant Others Welcomed to Catalina Island - And Beyond!
February 25, 2057
The newly relocated Bikini Krill celebrated the launch of their new spring training facility, located in the historic valleys of Catalina Island. The site is rumored to have been among the options that owner P. Moreau Westmoreland had considered for the big club before deciding that it made for a better spring training facility than the more splashy Bikini Atoll.
Opening night was celebrated with a party headlined by The Krill Is Gone, a popular tribute band, who opened up with “Double Dare Ya,” dedicated mysteriously to Sacramento GM sholess Olmstead and permeated with chants of Utbah Utbah in the spaces between whatever works as a chorus for that song. They then moved on to “Suck My Left One,” which was clearly a fan favorite. The entire night finished with, appropriately, “Rebel Girl.”
Between each song, the band discussed the pre-season predictions that have the Krill finishing at 72 wins, with lead singer Kitty Hannah suggesting that “Wins” are simply establishment measures that mean nothing, and announcing that they had signed a season-long contract to play the 7th inning stretch. “Call it our own little revolution every night!” Hannah screamed as the band tore into the opening riffs of the next songs.
Everyone seemed to enjoy it, particularly the players’ families, who were all invited to the festivities and transported in using the highly advanced Come Together Doors that Westy Westmoreland is arguably using the team to launch into full relevance.
“We understand there has been some reluctance about the door from around the league, particularly about how it might impact players and their significant others. And we are certainly aware that people of lesser minds have a tendency to fear the things they don’t understand,” said GM Ron Collins, who had perhaps had an extra Mai Tai or three, and was waving a fourth around as he spoke between songs. “But Westy’s going to go around them all, and make sure that the player’s families have a great time at every homestand we have—so I think he’ll be whooshing all the visitor’s closest families to the entire Marshall Islands to experience Forever Land close-up.”
It does appear to be an offer too good to turn down, now, doesn’t it? If opposing teams and their players say no to the free spin, then one would expect those same significant others to be a bit, perhaps, miffed. Time will tell, but it’s an interesting gambit from an owner who appears to be merely warming up when it comes to extending promotional opportunities based on the many advances he has his fingers in.
When asked if that wouldn’t be cost prohibitive, Collins chuckled. “Westy is stingy with the team’s budget, but the guy has more money than most countries. If he wants to do something, he’ll find a way to make a profit from it.”
# # #
In the meantime, spring training starts tomorrow, bright and early. So we’ll get a firsthand chance to see how the genetically modified alcohol scrubbers that Westmoreland unveiled after the show might work. “Hangover Begone!” Westy said, raising a glass to a raucous round of cheers.
