So, this happened: I'm combing through the free agency lists and come across the name of Aubrey Anderson, former slugger for the Omaha Hawks and the Charm City Jimmies.
Given the state of pitching in the UMEBA – and trust me, you don’t want to look at it too closely without protection – I’m constantly on the lookout for offense and power.
So, naturally, Aubrey Anderson!
I give his agent a jingle, and he's encouraging as hell – “Sure, Aubrey would consider Mumbai if you’re willing to pay his asking price.”
“What’s his asking price,” I ask, sweet as pie. Sweeter, if I'm being honest, which I am, of course.
“He’s looking for $4.7 million a year,” the agent says.
I gulp a little, but then figure, what the hell? A genuine BBA star - that would have to help attendance and give us one hell of a power hitter for the middle of our lineup.
“Sure,” I say. “I’d be willing to meet that.”
Mr. Hale and Hearty Agent says go ahead and send him the offer in writing and he’ll talk to Aubrey and we’ll get this deal moving!
So, I do just that – and I even sweeten it little, upping it to $5 million. In for a penny, in for a dollar, right?
Wrong.
I come in this morning, and I have this email waiting from Mr. Genuine Article BBA Star Aubrey Anderson:
“I’m close to offended by your offer, and I can’t see myself signing here. Jack it up, or better luck next time.”
Well, guess what, Aubrey bleepin’ Anderson? I’m the one who’s offended now. I didn’t pull those numbers out of thin air – they were your bleepin’ numbers.
So, offer withdrawn.
Stuff it, Aubrey Anderson. I’m glad Omaha released your ass.
[End recording]
