2035-04: Talons Create Script Bot to Help With Team News

[jiminyhopkins]

Sometimes, it can be really hard to think up some premium content for these pesky Team Newses that the Talons have to write in order to get PPT's which can be traded in for cash in the offseason. And brother, do they need the cash. They even had to cash in their bonus funds, and the team couldn't even figure out where they came from.

SO with all of the PPTs cashed in and the bonus fund raided, what can the Talons do now? Well, write more team newses of course, and cash them in next offseason. The cycle never ends. But they club may have found a way to streamline the process. Apparently, one of their interns has discovered a way to, well, "fill out" any Team News post by using a script bot to generate detailed, paragraph-length descriptions of players, using information readily available in the HTML files. It goes a little something like this:

[Player Name] was [drafted <or> acquired in trade from {insert team}] on [insert date]. [Player name] spent the season with [Team name <or> minor league affiliate] where he finished the season hitting [avg/obp/slg] with [runs scored], [home runs], [doubles], [triples], [RBI], and [stolen bases] in [attempts] (success rate), and a [WAR] in [at bats]. In [innings] at [position], [player name] recorded [errors] (fielding percentage), [assists], a [range factor], a [zone rating], and a [defensive efficiency]. Scouts rate [player name] as having [x/x/x/x/x contact/gap/power/eye/avoid k] ratings; [x/x/x speed/stealing/baserunning] ratings; a [1st position rating]; <and/or> a [2nd position rating]; <and/or> a [3rd position rating] <ad infinitum>; and [x/x/x range/error/arm] ratings.

"So, as you can see, this really simplifies things," said Talons media intern David Frum. "All we have to do is write a sentence or two about some players, then plug their names into this script bot. This bot then accesses the player HTML files and spits out formulaic paragraphs about each player. Cool, huh?" Frum said. "Instant Team News!"

It remains to be seen if these articles actually meet the accepted standard of team newses being "original, owner-created content" per league rules, but the team plans to try and get away with it for as long as possible.

"With each Team News article essentially being worth $200,000 once you cash in the points, why wouldn't you do it this way?" Frum added. "Easy money!"

[RonCo]

Official Statement: It is my understanding that there are no scripts being used by any team for generation of TN.

[Spiccoli]

lol...... It seems like you work harder at trying to avoiding writing team news, than just taking 5 minutes to provide a quick update what's happening with your team.

[RonCo]

Sean does some of the best team news. Love his snarky take toward the whole process.

[ae37jr]

I love the raw emotion as opposed to just mailing it in with a 2 sentance TN saying "Player A hit 3 HR this sim, he is really good. Player B gave up 5 runs in 3 innings. He is not so good. Player C got injured, woe for player C." At the very least it's creative and fun.

[Spiccoli]

I agree!! They're hilarious

[usnspecialist]

Sean created VODAK, that should get him a pass for the next decade worth of TN

[jiminyhopkins]

Actually Ron created VODAK lol.

And VODAK has been an autocomplete suggestion on my phone for weeks now.

[RonCo]

I may have started vodka, but Sean made it the iconic brand it is today.