MADISON, WI — Gertie, owner of the Madison Wolves (if you don't know by now and live under a rock) and is the brains behind Shotz Stadium's churro-fueled revolution, released the following statement after the team’s selection of second baseman Ed Tucker in the third round of the 2063 Draft:
Tucker, 21, hails from Lakewood, Colorado and spent the past three seasons pulverizing College pitching for the Gulf Oil Drillers. He brings a career slash line of .335/.430/.616 with 45 home runs, 141 RBIs, and 26 stolen bases. His glovework earned him a Gold Glove at second base in 2062, and though his 2063 season showed a dip in production, the Wolves believe his upside remains high.Sometimes you don’t pick the player — the player picks you. And Ed Tucker? He’s been circling us like a hawk with a spreadsheet.
This kid hit .419 as a 19-year-old, then decided to prove he was mortal the next two years — barely. He’s got pop, patience, and just enough defensive chaos to keep you honest. Sure, he’s got more personality red flags than a used hovercar dealership, but that’s our kind of guy.
I asked our scouts if he could turn two, and they said, ‘Only if it’s with a vengeance.’ Sold. Welcome to Madison, Ed. You’ll love it here — or you’ll adapt quickly. You’ve got high adaptability, after all.
And don’t worry about the baseball IQ thing. We’ve had coaches with lower.
said Wolves Assistant GM Bill 'Chunky' McDonald.He’s got twitchy speed, surprising pop, and a swing built to ruin lives,
Tucker is expected to begin his professional career at Madison’s Class-A affiliate Boulder, but don’t be surprised if he’s fast-tracked. He has a history of racking up hardware and making statements.He also showed up to his pre-draft interview with a box of donuts labeled ‘For Gertie Only.’ This is what we call organizational fit.
Gertie added,If he’s anything like his scouting file,
Stay tuned. The Wolves aren’t done building yet.he’ll be driving a golf cart through Shotz Stadium by July — and not because he’s injured.
