9-News: 38.004 – Aviators Swipe Andwele in Rule 5

[RonCo]

YS9 LOSES SIGNING BONUS


YS9 fans around the globe were stunned to hear that their favorite team had lost 18-year-old outfielder Yalew Andwele to the Wichita Aviators in yesterday’s Rule 5 draft. “What the hell is Collins doing?” said one fan, noting that Andwele hit a blistering .188/.233/.318 in Rookie ball in Alamogordo, eating up a precious 90 plate appearances in raking up that kind of package.

The Aviator GM, better known as Genius Hopkins, was seen out drinking afterward, which of course isn’t news in itself, but he was overheard ordering Nigerian martinis, whatever those are, and toasting to everyone that could hear that “we got our Yalew on, baby!” In addition to the outfielder’s … um … overpowering performance with the bat, Andwele also posted a -.6 ZR in the outfield. “Exactly what we wanted!” Genius was caught on tape saying. “We asked the kid to totally stink it up so we could make sure he’d be available in the draft. Only took about 15 bucks in lottery tickets and a one-night stand with Veronica here to convince him. Now we’ve got him.”

The Nigerian outfielder had been released by Louisville in mid-summer, allowing Nine to sign him in July, giving him a $100 bonus to ink the deal.

“I’m thrilled,” Andwele said.

“We totally bilked the Nine out of a hundred bucks!” Genius said as he danced and danced. “Totally worth it!”

[felipe]

Already sent him back

Drunken regrets