2062-001: Talons Send Players to new RNG Lab

[jiminyhopkins]

Daytona Beach, FL--

Ten extremely lucky Talons players have reported to Phoenix's spring training site in Daytona Beach to participate in the Talons new RNG Lab. In programs ranging from a few weeks to a few months, these Talon athletes will subject themselves to the casino that influences almost everything about their reality. Talons Scouting Director Schytt E. Pyck explained: "It's all about rolling the dice, right? Everything from a players' injury incidence, talent changes, and year-to-year stats all the way down to their playing weight and contract demands are due to the Random Number Generator that we call life. So why not add another variable into the mix and see what happens? It's total chaos! And we love it!"

Let's take a look at who is subjecting their careers to pure mathematical fate this offseason:

Plate Discipline program: Adrian Tallent, Israel Perez, Joseph Mother, G'Tuda Choppa
Improve Defense program: Taisuke Kamimura, Pedro Toro, Phillip Warner
Secondary Pitch program: Lawrence Forest, Jodie Hanna
Imrove Control program: Gabriel Carlos

Will any of these guys improve? Who knows? Better yet, Who Cares! Because it's all RNG here in the RNG Lab, anything that happens is nobody's fault, and the Talons don't have to take responsibility for anything! Yay!

Go RNG-lons!

[Lane]

RNG! RNG! RNG!

[trmmilwwi]

I like these types of Pycks in Phoenix!