2060-009: Your Mom Is An All Star

[jiminyhopkins]

Editor's Note: Presenting the first in a series of minimum effort, minimum content Team Newses from the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department. Gotta pay for these bullshit Stadium Fees somehow!

Phoenix, AZ--

As the Talons wrap up their final homestand before the All Star Break, good news presented itself for three Talons players. Reliever Huang Cheng, Left Fielder Michael O'Halloran, and DH Your Mom will all be headed to the BBA All Star Game. These selections represent the first of each player's career, notwithstanding Mother's three previous Futures Game selections as a minor leaguer.

All three are having pretty decent seasons, despite playing for the Talons. Cheng is the club's best reliever, notching a 5-3 record with a 2.88 ERA in 59 innings. O'Halloran, in his first full-time season, has already blasted 27 home runs, good enough for second in the Johnson League. And Your Mom is doing typically well, slashing .312/.380/.588 with 21 homers, a truly unbelievable Stolen Base, and 2.1 WAR out of the DH slot.

All Star incentives include 250k for Cheng, 150k for O'Halloran, and, sadly, nothing for Your Mom.

Go Talons!

[Lane]

Your Mom has always been an all star in my eyes

[JRamirez]

tell your mom I said hello

[Trebro]

I will be curious what Joseph asks for in a long term deal.

[jiminyhopkins]

I will be curious what Joseph asks for in a long term deal.

As soon as he hits 5 years, He will get all the Grand Slam Breakfasts he wants!