No PP,: Last Rites for Enzo?

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RIVER MONSTERS TEAM NEWS "LAST RITES FOR ENZO?"
June 25, 2063 | By the Beneath the Surface Staff

One more start. That's all Enzo Bouton is guaranteed.

The enigmatic right-hander, whose knuckleball dances like a drunk ballerina but too often misses the stage entirely, will get one last chance to prove his worth in a scheduled start this week against the Sacramento Mad Popes.

> "They don't walk much," one team source said. "So if Enzo's gonna make a case, this is the opponent."



And a case needs to be made fast.

Bouton, 29, has posted a troubling 6.09 ERA with 67 walks in just 85.2 innings, despite showing elite movement (8) and a baffling 11-rated knuckler. His -0.1 WAR and ghastly 1.68 WHIP have fans groaning and GM Alan Ehlers glancing toward the farm.

If Bouton falters again, the River Monsters may finally make a change with Luis Gonzales and Jose Lopez both dominant in Double-A and itching for a shot.

Gonzales (22): Electric arm, 11 stuff, 2.00 ERA, 17 Ks in just 9 IP.

Lopez (23): 99-101 mph flamethrower, 1.00 ERA, 0.78 WHIP, and a slider that explodes off the screen.


> "Our patience isn't eternal," said a front office staffer, who may or may not have slammed a door after saying it.



Bouton's name has reportedly come up in trade talks, with teams still enamored by his unique pitch mix and groundball-heavy profile. His elite movement remains attractive, and if Twin Cities does pivot, they're likely to net value even if the results haven't been there.

But for now, all eyes turn to Sacramento. If the Mad Popes don't offer salvation, it could be the final sermon for Enzo Bouton in Twin Cities.

One more start. One more shot. Heaven or DFA.