HAK-JOON O GETS THE CALL AND THE CRUTCHES: RIVER MONSTERS PROMOTE TEAM CAPTAIN, IMMEDIATELY DL HIM WITH FRACTURED KNEECAP
April 9, 2063 Twin Cities, MN
A week after being called out for gaming the system, the Twin Cities River Monsters promoted center fielder Hak-joon O from A-ball affiliate Billings Cowboys today only to immediately place him on the 60-day injured list with a fractured kneecap.
O, 24, was off to a sluggish start with Billings, slashing .167/.250/.167 in six games, but the North Korean native's on-field numbers weren't the driving force behind the decision. Known more for his clubhouse presence than his OPS, O holds the rare and respected "Captain" personality classification and the River Monsters front office appears to have prioritized that leadership aura even as O arrives on crutches.
"Let's be honest," said GM Alan Ehlers. "We didn't promote him for his .167 batting average. We promoted him for his 1.000 leadership percentage. Sometimes, what you need in a locker room isn't a .900 OPS it's a guy who knows when to pat a teammate on the back and when to kick 'em in the pants. Even if he can't kick right now."
O suffered the broken kneecap just two days ago while crashing into the outfield wall in Billings during what many have called "a valiant but unnecessary attempt to rob a double in a 12-5 game." His estimated recovery time is six to seven months, effectively ending his 2063 season before it truly began though it won't stop him from drawing BBA service time.
When asked if the promotion was a strategic move to get ahead of the Super Two arbitration cutoff which could cost the team millions down the line Ehlers waved it off.
"Look, if we're worried about Super Two for a guy hitting .167 in Single-A, we've already lost. He's a future bench leader, not a financial liability," Ehlers said. "Besides, we're the River Monsters we don't tank seasons, we flood 'em."
Pressed further about the optics of the move, Ehlers leaned into the moment.
"I heard the criticism loud and clear last week," he said. "People said we were gaming the system. I didn't want to disappoint them. So we leaned in we promoted a guy with a broken kneecap. If we're gonna be accused of manipulating the rules, we might as well do it with style. Besides, it's my $500k to waste. We earned it by winning baseball games not by churning out sleep-inducing articles and cashing in participation points like it's Chuck E. Cheese, with just enough left over for a plastic ring and a rainbow bouncy ball."
O's career to date has been a global trek through nearly every level of professional baseball. Once the pride of Pyongyang College (and winner of the 2059 Great Glove Award), O has spent time with organizations in Athens, Shenyang, Hokkaido, Mogadishu, and now Billings never quite finding a consistent home but always earning praise for his work ethic, adaptability, and locker-room presence.
"I've played with a lot of guys who could mash," said River Monsters 3B prospect Pepe Gonzales, "but none of them would've taken a broken knee to make a play in April A-ball. Hak-joon? That guy's different."
Despite the injury and the long rehab ahead, O was all smiles in a Zoom press conference from the training facility.
"I will not let one kneecap stop me from giving everything to this team," he said through a translator, grinning. "I may not run, but I can lead."
Whether or not Hak-joon O ever becomes a staple in the River Monsters' outfield remains to be seen. But for now, he's earned a spot on the big-league roster and a pair of crutches with BBA logos stitched in gold.
In totally unrelated news, there was a blood stained aluminum baseball bat sitting in Joseph Mother's locker. Not sure what it was there for.
River Monsters beat reporter Velma Torque contributed to this story.
