The, one might say, aging Arnold Cantrell (he'll be 36 before next season starts), a mainstay in the Des Moines starting staff with his 10 stamina and all, 7-5, 3.09, and now has a 1.12 career WHIP with Des Moines in 277.1 innings pitched, the guy whose $10mm Team Option JRamirez picked up in these tough financial times of reduced salary cap thinking "this might be our last good shot at the playoffs, let's keep him—and Everard"—a decision that has so far proved, I don't dare say brilliant, but there I wrote it, the guy, Cantrell, who said, "all right, señor, but 'no más': after this I'm testing the market."
"¿No más?" thought JR, "what's that gringo been doing, watching Breaking Bad? ("No más" is the title of S03E01).
JR checked on the assignability of the Israeli-born starter again in April.
"No más" was the reply. He checked again in May.
"No más."
June.
"No más"
But then the team caught fire, adding 10 consecutive July wins to an already hot 18-win June.
And look who's coming to dinner. (Damn, JR, you watch too many movies.)
Arnold's agent phoned and said:
"Más."
"I guess he's up to episode 5 now," JR thought. ("Más" is indeed the title of S03E05). "Well, más this!"
JR then informed the agent that the window of opportunity had closed, as for his client's resignability. "He's been the number one name on our scratch card for a year now," JR said, "And this time for damn sure 'no hay lugar para él en el mesón,'" quoting the Bible this time. He pointed out Cantrell's Summer of Lump to a 5 movement, and his "all around getting-old."
The agent said, "Mossad ain't gonna like this."
"Fuck Mossad. That story is over," JR replied, referring to the Muslin Affair, in which Cantrell and two other Israeli pitchers (Greg Shaw and Truman Burgess) were reported to be, by the very slanderous Mistaken Public Radio, involved in the Kernels divesting itself of players off a certain, say, profile—
"Lemme stop you right chair," team owner Walter Wilhelm has intervened. "No más of writing about that stuff. "And, remember, it was Muslin. OK, Carry on!"
It's probably still up in the air, just like it was a yar ago, in regard to re-signing Cantrell," but a growing salary burden and a 36-y.o. 5/5/7 probably won't mesh well with JR. "But, hey, lemme check what Version 26 says."
