versus 
That was fast.
They had just got the new marquee up and Kid Krauss©, current KEO of Kum & Go has sent out 10,000 free tickets to WWE fans as there'll be an unparalleled Kage Match© Friday night (11/2/61) at The Kid's Kum & Go Kourtyard. Plenty of popcorn will be on hand. The feature event will, er, feature the 34-y.o. Arnold Cantrell of Israel against the 32-y.o. Scott 'Silver Goat' Everard of Southend-on-See, England.
Yeah, these two foreigners are gonna face off just beyond the pitcher's mound in a Hell-in-the-Cell portable Kage© that is said to measure 16 feet high and span 16 feet across. "A Yank wouldn't do that. I mean an American," said Kernel booster Jibwa Smortningaling. "An Iowan, hellllll no, we got horse sense."
The winner will win retain his place on the Des Moines 40-man roster, while the non-winner, well, sai-yo-na-ra.
"They outta just let that goat go." said Smortningaling. "And I don't mean GOAT." Indeed, Scott Everard has been pegged as "the main reason" Des Moines didn't make the playoffs this season (2061). He gave up a ton of walk-offs and blown saves. Lost count how many.
They say Cantrell's an expert at Krav Maga. There's even evidence linking the lanky 6'0" Israeli with Mossad. For Everard, he's 6'4" and 200 lbs.
"He'll be no match for that Mossad agent," Smortningaling snorted.
The Des Moines Kernels are staring at a $104.7 million player payroll and there's not enough leeway to retain both hurlers. Eveready wannid 8-per and, well, I was tired of ciphering in my head, so I figure, why not solve this the old-fashioned way," said Asst GM Esteban Costa,