51.02 Groucho Likely Gonzo

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June 23, 2051

Marvin Winston

The 2051 season marks the last year of a 3-year contract extension worth a total of $16,800,000 for Sacramento starting pitcher, Marvin 'Groucho' Winston. The team had high hopes of resigning their 2042 first round pick to a long term extension, but Winston and his agent, Lawrence Spaghettieberg, have returned each contract offer with five horrifying words -- "We will test Free Agency."

"It's really a shame Groucho won't be a Pope for life," said assistant to the acting equipment manager Jorge Carpetfuzz. "His cleats were my favorite to clean."

Over eight seasons with the big club in Sacramento, Winston has put up above average league numbers, including an ERA of 3.56 over 1016 innings and a WHIP (and nay-nay) of 1.18.

Told he may end up with some crap-pile of a franchise like Vancouver or Boise or Omaha, Winston had this to say: "I like turtles."

[CTBrewCrew]

No Madison in that crap pile….