
Sacramento Star -- Letters to the Editor
Just this hour, I purchased the new San Fernando Bears jersey for our forever beloved Yuu Suzuki. Size XXXL. Normally, I wear a large, but I wanted the jersey to be big enough for that idiot in the general manager's suite at the Basilica to see it while he looks down on the disgrace of a team he's fielding in 2061.
What the hell is going on here? First Nisanci, then Ploid, and now Suzuki. All gone. The 1-2-3 hitters of our lineup in 2059. Gone in a matter of two offseasons. Why do we continue to cheer on this team when their loyalty to their players and to us, for that matter, is absolute Maggie's Baggies?
And what did we get for our big bopping Japanese behemoth? More Maggie's Baggies! Who in the hell trades a top five hitter in the league for a reliever, a mediocre and unproven DH, some young southpaw, and a hurler just out of diapers?
Only Shoeless would be this stupid.
Fire him already.
FIRE SHOELESS!
Sincerely your,
Regornius Westerland Magnopolandis
Chairperson (Fourth chair from the left when entering the boardroom)
Associates for the Immediate Firing of Shoeless
fireshoeless.org