2063.23 Thum and Thum Press Conference

[Trebro]

Transcript of a Press Conference held by the Yellow Springs Nine. Present were owner Bo Jordan, General Manager Rob McMonigal, Dong-Po Thum, and Lien-ying Thum.

Jordan: Thank you all for coming today. You all know why we are here.

McMonigal: Yes, and we'd like to thank General Manager Mike Simon for allowing Dong-Po to take time away from the crucial off-season to be here today.

Jordan: The four of us are here today to set the record straight about allegations made by Ethan Wardman about the Thum Family.

Dong-Po: He's a [expletive deleted] liar!

McMonigal: Bo and I would couch it differently, but in essence, Hunter is correct. There is absolutely no factual basis behind what Mr. Wardman is alleging. And the biggest proof of that is the fact that he's not even here today, because he knows he printed a bogus birth certificate.

Dong-Po: You're damned right. Just look at it! Who in the world would think that thing is official?

Valerie Davies (Yellow Springs World): Certainly not us!

(laughter ensues)

Jordan: Part of me wanted to ignore the whole thing, but it was the elder Mr. Thum who felt it needed to be taken care of and addressed. So here we are.

Dong-Po: That's correct, Bo. While I may not be a part of the Nine family, that was a business decision. One I clearly disagree with but it's Bo and Mac [McMonigal's] choice. But I simply could not allow the Journal to put my family's name through the mud like this.

Lien-ying: My mother hasn't stopped crying and my father, who passed away, would want to settle this with his fists or maybe something even stronger. I cannot tell you how much emotional damage this has caused the extended Thum family. We got questions all up and down the family tree. My friends kept messaging me with the article. The local news where I live banged on my mother's door, demanding a response. It was horrible!

Dong-Po: It's a cheap shot from a cheap man.

McMonigal: Here's our official, joint statement:

The Yellow Springs Nine and the Thum family decry the publication of an outright lie about Lien-ying Thum being Dong-po Thum's son. They are cousins. The document proving otherwise is a forgery, likely crafted to sew further dissension between Mr. Thum, an all-time Nine great, and the organization. We are circulating copies of Lien-ying's birth certificate to the press to prove the veracity of his parentage.

We ask that all reputable news agencies publish the facts loudly and prominently.

Thank you.

Jordan: We'll now take questions.

Davies: Do you plan to file a lawsuit?

McMonigal: At this time, no but we reserve the right to and will support the Thum family if they do.

Dong-po: We, too, are reviewing our options.

Patti Burns, TV News: What do you think the motivation was here?

Jordan: We do not wish to speculate.

McMonigal: You all know Mr. Wardman. Draw your own conclusions.

Davies: Why are you no longer a coach in the Nine organization, Dong-po?

Dong-po: As stated in a press release, the team and I felt it was best to go in a different direction.

Nes Lessman, Yellow Springs Journal: Do you think this will end the "Who's your Daddy chants?"

Lien-ying: I certainly hope so.

Lessman: Where do you think you'll be playing in 2063? Cat Island?

Lien-ying: I certainly hope so.

Lessman: With this behind you, do you think you'll play better?

Dong-po: What kind of question is that?

Lessman: A factual one. Your "cousin" seems unable to hit the broad side of a barn.

McMonigal: As with all minor league players, there are ups and downs. Let's get back on topic, please.

Davies: Do you think this story will hurt your ticket sales?

Jordan: We'll have to wait and see.

Burns: Will you be looking to build a new stadium soon? Utopia Field is getting long in the tooth.

Jordan: That's a question for another day. Right now, we're focused on the off-season, ensuring our coaching staff is complete and ready to go, and that we're focused on winning in 2063.

Burns: Will the team have a winning record?

McMonigal: We certainly hope so. Okay, that's enough questions. Thank you all.