2061.07 - Madison Wolves First-Round Pick Jesus Gil Heads to Boulder: Crush Declare Him the "True" Jesus

[CTBrewCrew]

BOULDER, CO — The Boulder Crush are overjoyed to announce the arrival of newly drafted starting pitcher Jesus Gil, the Madison Wolves’ #5 overall pick in this year’s draft. The 21-year-old Westminster native and former collegiate standout will begin his professional journey with the Crush, where fans are already heralding him as “The True Jesus,” a title the team assures has zero theological implications (though it conveniently undermines Atlantic City’s suspiciously young 18-year-old shortstop of the same name).

“Listen, Atlantic City can talk all they want about their 18-year-old phenom, but we’re here to say *our* Jesus is fully formed, tested by fire, and capable of delivering the goods,” said Crush PR Director Debbie Spinner. “Their guy might turn water into wine someday, but ours already turns ground balls into outs and home runs into faint rumors.”

Known for his lethal 92-94 mph sidearm fastball and supernatural split-change combo, Gil is poised to terrorize hitters with his 55% ground-ball rate and seven stamina, traits GM Simon enthusiastically praised. “We hope to see Jesus and Canales anchoring the Wolves' rotation for years to come,” Simon said.

Asked about the nickname, Gil simply replied, “I just want to pitch.” Classic Jesus.

[Knucklehead254]

COUGH

https://statspl.us/brewster/reports/new ... 71037.html

(ahh who am i kidding he's not having a good year)

[CTBrewCrew]

COUGH

https://statspl.us/brewster/reports/new ... 71037.html

(ahh who am i kidding he's not having a good year)

LOL - 01/21/2060 Outstandingly completed training to improve his defense at pitcher at the Vancouver Mounties development complex.

[CTBrewCrew]

PFP Baby!

[Trebro]

I remember being very confused when I learned people other than Jesus were named Jesus. I think it was actually because of a baseball card.

[JRamirez]

Hallelujah!