Slug This...The Hopkins Era...2009 3.17 Trade Presser

[felipe]

The Louisville beat writers sit casually waiting in the Louiville Slugger press room at the ballpark at Locust Grove.

"What do you think this is about?"

"Beats me...but if he's announcing his 7th round draft choice, I'm gonna be pissed."

GM Hopkins strides into the room,"Hi guys, thanks for waiting. I have a bit of a big announcement for you today."

"Yea, we know...you drafted another Hopkins."

"Erm..No..well..yea...but this is a bit of a bigger deal...I've just acquired thirty-four year-old left-handed starting pitcher, Daniel Richie, from the Greenville Moonshiners."

"The Viper! Jeez! What did we have to give up? Allen Izatt? Victor Paez? Sam Sung?"

"Umm..no...actually...Cleo Blanco."

"Cleo Blanco?!"

"Hey GM! Did you at least take Greeny out to dinner first?"

"Yeah GM, did you give him a peck on the cheek when you left?"

'Hey GM? Did you at least slather his anus with vaseline before you violated him?"

'Oh, hi Bob, didn't see you come in,"GM Hopkins acknowledges owner Bob Elliott's last comment,"Ummm...no...but I did give Greenville a couple of prospects."

"Oh boy...now it comes out...who'd we lose? Zach Bauer? Lotto Valencia? Gustav Arlt?"

GM Hopkins replies,"No...one was Steve Camp..."

"Ol waiver wire Camp? Really? C'mon GM, you must have at least told Greeny you loved him!"

"Did he get a movie out of it?"

"Tell me you got him flowers, at least!"

"Yes GM! You told him to grab his ankles and bray like a donkey, didn't you!"

GM Hopkins considers,"Ummm...I also traded him Jim Taylor."

"Taylor, eh? That's not too bad."

"Yeah, I can live with that."

"Well done GM."

One reporter stands up,"Wait! Tell me Gm, are you worried that The Viper is declining, and that this isn't a temporary thing? Is it possible you're saddling Louisville with a long-term crap contract?'

"It IS a bit of a risk,'GM Hopkins answers,"But is two years at 3mill per a BIG risk? I don't think so. The Viper is still only thirty-four years old, if I can get two decent years out of him, I'll have an effective 4 man rotation of Izzatt, Paez, Colbert, and 'The Viper'. We got a ton of young pitchers who will be making their way up to Louisville over the next 2-3 years, and if The Viper can help bridge that gap until then, that's great. If not, I've lost 2 borderline guys and my tenth pitching prospect, who's a long way from being ready."

"I'll take that gamble."

[agrudez]

I like to gloat about my trade ****s as much as the next guy, but even I thought that this was in bad taste.

See, Greeney? You should just trade with me over Felipe from now on... just as Marquette how nicely I treat my partners after the act.

[trmmilwwi]

I still feel used...

[Al-Hoot]

Note that Hawaii felt so bad for Richie, we decided to let him have one good game.

[Greeney03]

The worse part of the deal was, GM Hopkins didn't take me out to dinner.