Slug This...The Hopkins Era...2009 3.12 Minor roster moves

[felipe]

"GM?"Slugger SS Terry Coture cautiously knocks on GM Hopkins open office door as he walks in,"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, lunchbox, come on in...remember how I told you I wasn't sending you down to AAA, last week? Well...that's changed."

"You're sending ME down?"

"Yes..you've been awful this year. You never could hit, but lately you seem to be getting worse. And your fielding? It looks like you're wearing an iron glove. Why can't you pick your hands up quicker? Its sad when a so-called athlete gets old...when he can no longer do what he used to do..."

"I'm thirty-two years old!"

"Yes, but you play like a forty year-old. Enjoy Missouri, i'm sure you'll be back up soon enough when someone else displeases me."

Coture turns and walks out the door. Louisville Slugger owner Bob Elliott emerges from the dark shadows of the room.

"I'm impressed GM! The way you're panicking and making unnecesary roster moves, just because we're close to .500...awesome."

"Thanks Bob...you pay me the big bucks to meddle, so I'm meddling."

"But who are you going to bring up to replace Coture?"

"I'm bringing up Dan James."

"Ugh...Dan James? He's awful, you don't even let him near the field, even in Missouri."

"I think what you mean to say, is that he's awfully good with the glove."

"No, I mean he may be the worst hitter I've ever seen."

"True dat Bob...but did you see that article on JL defensive metrics published by one of the other MBBA GM's? You dig into that report and you can see that we're awful on defence this year. And most of the problems are because of two players. Coture and Rayas."

"Yeah GM..but surely their poor performance is because of a small sample size. For all his problems, Coture is pretty decent with the glove. Always has been. You could argue that he should be flawless the rest of the way this year. Now we've eaten his 'bad' its time to enjoy the 'good'. By sending him down, you're in effect hurting us two times."

"Or...he's beginning his decline at age thirty-two...and he ain't never gonna come back."

"I guess..."

"Its all about being able to read the market Bob...and I'm usually right. Yeah, so I've taken Rayas out of the lineup."

"Rayas! Have you gone mad? He's proabably got the best tools on the team!"

"Yea...I'm trying to deal him too...he's never made the most out of those tools. Frankly, I'm sick of looking at him. And the way he plays defence? Ugh...I feel like handing him a white cane before he goes out in the field. Remember when the Detroit Tigers use to occasionally put Mickey Tettleton out in right-field? Its like that...only even more painful to watch."

"Not Tettleton bad!?"

"Yes...worse...remember how he'd spin around in circles trying to get under popflys? If it wasn't so sad, it would have been funny!"

"Actually, it WAS kind of funny."

"Not, if its your team! Yeah, so the Rayas experiment or shit show or whatever you wanna call it has been shelved for a while. I'm giving his RHP at-bats to Ricardo Rubio, and his LHP at-bats to Joltin Joseph Ellis. They can't hit any worse than Rayas has been doing, and they give us better defence."

"Yeah, but again...we've already sat thru his bad hitting...surely its time for Rayas to take-off...he only has good at-bats left this year!"

"You know what they call wide eyed optimists, Bob? People that besides all evidence to the contrary, believe that everything is gonna turn out allright, if they just have faith?"

"No, what?"

"Losers Bob, losers."

"So...does this mean Colbert's coming out of the rotation?"

"Shut up Bob."

[Al-Hoot]

Coture can field, just not at short.