Mystery behind Robins 79 win 2039 season uncovered?
The Brooklyn Robins have been ominously quiet for the 2040 season. After years of spamming the BBA forums with long boring team news that nobody gave a crap about, GM Alan Ehlers has seemingly gone in hiding for several months. It's been long rumored that he will be leaving Brooklyn and perhaps the entire baseball world in the near future. So many assumed that this is just the precursor to that.
It's also rumored that the GM has actually stopped refreshing the forums every 5 seconds, got off his ass and been hitting the gym, losing 50 pounds in the process. We also hear that he got a second job and is now working 80-100 hours a week. And by working I mean playing laser tag with boxes at a sortation center. Proving that he can not only outwork Mexicans, but drones too.
So with all this on his plate and a baby on the way, surely he has no more time for shenanigans right? Wrong! News has leaked and apparently Brooklyn is doing more shady things. This time stealing signs.
The Robins have always been on the cutting edge of what they call Moneyball 2.0. Once laughed at, we are now seeing the trickle down effects spilling over into the copycat MLB. But when the team added a homeless man onto the "analytics team" prior to the 2039 season, most assumed it was just Brooklyn being Brooklyn and too cheap to hire a young college grad.
The Robins GM ran into the homeless man who prefers to go by the name of "Oscar" on a chance meeting on the way to the McDermott Field late May. While waiting for the crosswalk to turn green, Oscar was loudly banging on a garbage can.
"Hey, cut that shit out man. And while your at it, get a job and please take a shower!" Shouted the GM
"Sorry man, this actually is my job though. 20,000 cars pass this light a day. All of them have tunnel vision. Stuck in the rat race they are zoned in on their drive. I slam on this garbage can and it startles them. They think it's an accident and look this way."
"How is being a duesch bag a job? Your going to cause an accident for real."
"Cause I'm standing right in front of this donut shop. I bang the can, people look up, they see this sign and it's free advertising. The owner gives me free donuts all the time." said Oscar
"So what you are saying is that you bang on that trash can and it's a signal that is effective but nobody pays any mind to cause it's a common thing?"
The Robins GM stands there for a second with his index finger taping his lower lip. "Come with me Omar, I think I have a job for you."
"It's Oscar sir"