2062 - Brewster Hold 'Em (Part 4): Pitch, Please

[R.Umali]

Sha'Mon shook their head as they opened the fantasy baseball envelope. Today, their schedule was packed. They had a lot of meet 'n greets, lot of glad handing, lot of shoe polishing, a lot of plain old reading. But all that would have to wait: fantasy sport was starting to extend its lease in the small corner of their mind.

Part of that was success, sure. The fact that they were not dead last wasn't surprising to them, but the fact that they had a good team, esp. on the pitching side, proved to provide an odd thrill. The personalized letters from the twins, Dee Dee and Joey, helped. And it's not like Sha'Mon didn't know about baseball. Sha'Mon kept up. Being the forward face at The Grog Shop, one had to keep up. On sports. On politics. On religion. On movies. On music. On the latest catch-all on the Viz. On video games. Ugh. Don't get them started on video games. Leveling up their Green Mountain Ranger in the Historical Campaign demanded levels of cheese they were barely willing to eat.

Knowing what-all is one thing but having a cozy relationship with the techies running the backend was another: priority numero uno. So when the twins, who basically rule the backend, launched this fantasy baseball game, Sha'Mon was all in. They went to Dee Dee's baseball lecture and asked questions (who determines if a reliever gets a Hold?), went to the April 19 mid-week outing at Vinny Vitale (and made sure to buy a round off the company dime), and responded in writing to Dee Dee's or Joey's weekly fantasy update (voting "yes" to give the last place teams in batting and pitching a chance to exchange one of their players).

The written letter said:

"Congratulations, Sha'Mon, on leading the league after Sim 7. Joey and I discovered a discrepancy in the scoring which misreported your pitching stats for the past 6 Sims."

So, the twins were fallible after all.

"We regret the error. Please accept this q-code for Chunk's On State. I recall you enjoyed their offerings at the stadium.

The result is that you are now leading Holds, ERA, and WHIP. Your team's ERA of 3.28 is excellent, which further compounds my disappointment at myself for setting up the tables incorrectly, robbing you of possible pride and enjoyment these last 6 weeks."

Sha'Mon raised their eyebrows and considered this. Pride and enjoyment? Maybe. But does it compare to the pleasure of this unexpected boon? He continued reading.

"The results of the league vote to allow the last place teams in Bats and Arms, and the last overall team, to change one player each sim have been tallied. The rule has been approved and starting now, those teams may exchange a player."

Well that wasn't going to be him any time soon, he hoped.

Pitch, Please

C: Claudio Morgan (LV)
1B: Jose Barrera (LOU)
2B: Alfredo Trujillo (BRK)
3B: Jacquot Natta (CHA)
SS: Don Colbert (JAX)
OF: Ramon Rodriguez (CCJ, first rounder)
OF: Brent Gilbert (AUS, 2nd among OF with 44 RBI)
OF: Raul Gallehos (TWC, 5th among OF with 13 HR, rookie)
1B: Ricardo Norman (MAD)
1B: Mike McClure (BIK)

SP: Mark Lolololo (NSH, 3rd with 57 Ks)
SP: Luis Gonzalez (VAL)
SP: Kent Johnson (ATC)
SP: Johnny Nicholson (MEX)
SP: Jonathan Bryant (VAL)
RP: Winston Morris (BIK)
RP: Huang Cheng (NSH)
RP: David Molina (NSH, league leader in Holds with 14)

Sha'Mon remembered that, during draft night, they wanted to zig when people zagged. Well, except for drafting Mark Lolololo. Sha'Mon had thought then that Lolololo would be perfect to base his fantasy baseball team's name after, but a few too many "b*tch, please"'s during draft night had worked their way into their brain.

But when it came down to the last few rounds and there were a few Nashville players left, they went for it. If somebody was going to get Holds, it was going to be somebody from Nashville and David Molina is proving them right.

Standings Sim 7:

99 : Long and Strong (manager Marion)
99 : Pitch, Please (Sha'Mon)
95 : The Balking Dead (Dasha K)
93 : Shoeless Toothbreakers (Yung Sugh)
92 : Team 10
88 : The WAR Machines
77 : Young Guns (William H)
72 : Knuckleheads Utd.
72 : Randy Wright in the Pocket
57 : Pitching a Tent
56 : The Bat-tle Axes
46 : Grand Slamwiches (Djeidi G)