Tripoli, April 14th, 2046 -- More than 12,000 die hard Tripoli Piranhas have signed an online petition, calling on UMEBA Commissioner Brodie Burt to declare an immediate end to the regular season and proceed to the playoffs.
"We believe 10-12 games are more than enough of a sample size to determine who is best in UMEBA," said the petition creator, Bart Steveman, president of the Tripoli Piranhas fan club. "In this age of instant gratification, it is vitally important that fans across the globe immediately experience playoff action. The fact that the Piranhas are 8-2 and sitting atop the Bancroft Division is merely coincidental. We are doing this for the good of the league."
Longtime observers, though, acknowledge that the fans' petition is the direct result of the surprising start of the Tripoli squad, which finished a whopping 30 games under .500 last season. We previously detailed the series of off-season moves accomplished by the front office, which appear to have helped. Even O-min Paek, a Rule 5 pickup brought in solely for his glove, is hitting well.
But the demand for an immediate move to the playoffs speaks of their understandable skepticism that this good run will last. "I don't even want to talk about it," said one fan. "As soon as we talk about it, they will hit the skids."
"As a long time proponent of small sample size analysis, I wholeheartedly endorse this effort," said Jack "Pebbly Jack" Glasscock, host of the popular Brewster News Network program, "The Small Sample Size Show. "Gone are the days when you need 162 games to decide who is the best. Ten games may seem small, but I can tell you this -- it is 11% more than nine games!"
At press time, there was no official response to the petition from league headquarters, although when this reporter stopped by, guffaws could be heard from behind closed doors.
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I have no doubt that Bucharest will return to form and be atop the Bancroft in short order, and conversely the Piranhas will return to earth and out of contention. But I will be thrilled to finish .500, which would itself be a huge leap.