September 1, 2042
by Anonymous
Location Unknown
One day prior to GM Chad Nason’s birthday, you must wonder if he will be gifted walking papers. His plan was to break records, and that he did. Kuwait City became the quickest team to be eliminated from playoff contention in UMEBA history. The Alhafr highlight of the year came when Drew Hair won MVP…in an exhibition game. The second greatest accomplishment will be if Henry Rectenberg can hold onto his league lead in sac flies. CF Terence Whooly was on pace to lead the league in strikeouts, but decided it would be more fun to break his leg and skip the rest of the season. Who can blame him?“I did not break my leg as an excuse to go home to our annual cheese festival in September!” Whooly cried. “I am a loyal member of this organization!”
Whooly’s loyalty is not in question. Unfortunately, his loyalty lies amongst Wisconsin cows. Apparently, our goat cheese is not good enough for him here in Kuwait.
“We are currently investigating this injury and his quick departure back to the great lakes” said Nason. “As luck would have it, we were excited to bring up Ken Hall, but he had a season ending injury just as we were prepared to give him a shot in the Bigs. We wish him a speedy recovery and hope he can fill a void in centerfield next season.”
Unfortunately, Nason was unable to successfully move some of these veterans to winning teams before the trade deadline, so It will be interesting to see who sticks around after this disastrous premiere.
