Hammer Time 2046.5- A Manager Writes Again

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Hammer Time 2046.5- A Manager Writes Again

Post by chicoruiz » Fri Mar 26, 2021 9:34 pm

Got an off day today, so I thought I’d take a minute to get a letter off to you. I started it while lounging on the rooftop garden at my apartment, but it’s July in Jerusalem, and there’s no need to give melanoma that much of a head start, so I’m writing from my living room, with the AC cranked all the way up, like God intended.

Things are going well with the team; we had a little June swoon, but appear to have righted the ship recently. No one’s saying anything out loud, but expectations are running high. I spent some time this morning helping GM Ruiz try to assemble something he ordered from Ikea. He said it was bookshelves, but it looked suspiciously like a trophy case to me. Anyway it didn’t look like much of anything as the two of us worked on it, till eventually Chico’s hulking new secretary Tamar had pity on us and forced it into the right configuration with a few twists of her massive forearms. I should put her in the lineup; I wish a couple of my players had wrists like that.

Anyway, as I said, expectations are high, as they should be when you have the league’s best hitter and possibly the best pitcher on the same team. There’s depth too; six of the top seven players in the batting order are hitting over .300, and the one who isn’t, Richard Drouin, is hitting .292. I’m particularly proud of him. Most teams who need a shortstop eventually settle on a glove man in hopes he’ll hit a little. We went the opposite way; Richard is only okay at short, but a .750 OPS makes up for a little defensive shortfall. The only hole is third base; I’ve tried a couple of guys and no one has really panned out, but you can’t have everything.

Well, that’s about it. Keep the home fires burning, and don’t worry too much about little Jimmy. It’s normal for a boy his age to start developing an interest in the opposite sex, although asking his teacher for a date seems a bit aggressive for a third-grader. And I’m sure he didn’t know exactly what he meant when he asked her if she wanted to “get her freak on”. To be honest, I’m not sure what that means either…

Much love,

( “In baseball you don’t know nothin’...” Yogi Berra)

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