He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

GM: Geoff Webb

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He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by FuzzyRawley » Mon Apr 13, 2020 5:21 pm

Children of The Corn.jpg
The heat was unbearable and the sky seemed extra hazy as GM Geoff Webb strained his neck to try and capture one last glimpse of Mumbai from the top step of the gangway that would lead him into the chartered flight forever taking him away from this bustling megacity. He would miss the curry, butter chicken, epic Bollywood action movies and even the suicidal auto rickshaw drivers, but his new challenge awaited across the globe, in the flat, Saskatchewan-of-the-plains state of Iowa.

As the plane gathered speed down the runway, he couldn't escape a deep feeling of unease. A deep long-forgotten trauma from his childhood was awakening. He pictured the endless farm fields with row upon row of corn. Corn stalks taller than you can see over, perfect for hiding baseball ghosts or worse, demons who require adult sacrifices. Was it based on a true story? Could Stephen King have written about a demon based on personal experience? He shuddered and asked the sole flight attendant to bring him a bottle of bourbon and glass. One thing was for sure, if he ever drove from Des Moines to the likes of Louisville, Chicago or worse, Omaha, he wouldn't be leaving the interstate no matter how enticing that shortcut looked on the map. He'd be casting a wary eye at any red-headed teenagers in overalls too.

To take his mind off what was sure to be impending doom, Webb leafed through the information packet that owner Stephen Collins Jr had sent. First on Webb's list was getting to know manager Troy Coffman. Coffman at first glance looked like a real sunovabitch but at second glance, still a sunovabitch. His overall relationship with the team was below average but worse, his relationships with budding stars Don Smith and Lucio De La Cruz was a real problem. Coffman's tempermental, if not explosive personality was going to be a problem...

Looking at his pitching staff eased his mind as he scanned the stats line. The aforementioned Smith was coming off a solid 2041 season where he collected a 5.6 WAR and looked to be on pace for a similar result in 2042. The other four starters, Juan Garcia, Francisco Rodriguez, Hashimoto and Jose Rivera were passable. Perhaps they were benefitting from some good defense, but a good pitcher always trusts his defense.

One problem that jumped out was the middle and long relievers. Low pitch counts were bringing these guys into games far more often than their abilities meritted. Of particular problem were relievers Carlos Rodriguez and Jefferson Riles who both have been the victim of poor defense, have still been the owners of FIPs greater than 8. A temporary solution is likely to reduce their use and to see how the starters fare with higher pitch counts.

On the offensive side, the main cause of the Kernels poor record was likely the 203 runs scored. If this was the Pacific Division, then this wouldn't be a problem, but this is the Heartland, these boys bats have pop like a bag of Orville Redenbacher's best. Outside of Lucio De La Cruz there wasn't enough runs being created by this bunch.

As the jet hit cruising altitude above the Arabian Sea, Webb closed up the package and reassured himself that he had a lot of great talent to work with. Now if he could only ensure that he wouldn't end up tied to a crucifix made of corn, it would be alright....
:cool: They say it don't be like it is, but it do!

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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by jleddy » Mon Apr 13, 2020 5:39 pm

FuzzyRawley wrote:
Mon Apr 13, 2020 5:21 pm
He'd be casting a wary eye at any red-headed teenagers in overalls too.
Love it! Although I thought renaming the "Kernals Kids Klub" to "Children of the Corn", while a whole lot less racist, is quite terrifying.
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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by HoosierVic » Mon Apr 13, 2020 6:06 pm

See? I knew Des Moines was the Heart of Darkness itself … run Geoff. There's still time!

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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by RonCo » Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:08 pm

Why does the Heartland always get the good GMs?

I mean, geez. How am I supposed to keep winning if the other guys actually check out their teams?
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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by shoeless.db » Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:10 pm

I was going to give this a thumbs up, but then I read the jab at the Pacific. You've already become one of them... so sad, such promise.
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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by HoosierVic » Tue Apr 14, 2020 9:43 pm

shoeless.db wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:10 pm
I was going to give this a thumbs up, but then I read the jab at the Pacific. You've already become one of them... so sad, such promise.
We call that a “quick study.”

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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by RonCo » Wed Apr 15, 2020 1:10 pm

Or simply "able to see and state the obvious."
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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by 7teen » Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:16 am

shoeless.db wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:10 pm
I was going to give this a thumbs up, but then I read the jab at the Pacific. You've already become one of them... so sad, such promise.
It’s like a Cult.

Ron and his brainwashing of these new owners. It’s a shame.
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Re: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Vol. 1 Ep. 1

Post by ae37jr » Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:30 am

Someone needs to make a custom ammy named Orville Redenbacher so the Kernals can draft him.
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