Sox Scoops 40.131: "Of Helga, TROs, And Yellow Snow"

GM: Victor Caleca

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Sox Scoops 40.131: "Of Helga, TROs, And Yellow Snow"

Post by HoosierVic » Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:45 am

[iMac Video Clip]

(The camera shows the office of GM Vic Caleca, a modest affair with a small wooden desk, two visitor chairs and a row of file cabinets. On the wall behind Caleca’s desk hang a series of photos showing Black Sox Park in various stages of construction. Caleca and Asst. GM Bill McGuffin are seated behind the desk, making a conference call to team owner Vinnie Vitale on an iPhone.)

Vinnie Vitale: Hey, Vic!

Vic Caleca: Vinnie, did we get you at a bad time?

Vinnie: Nah. I’m just doin’ Captain of Industry stuff.

Caleca (laughs): Sounds impressive. Hey … I’ve got Bill McGuffin here with me, and he heard something I think you should know about.

Vinnie: Oh yeah? Shoot.

McGuffin: OK … well, Vinnie, one of the young ladies who works in promotions for us, Marcia Schneider, she has a good friend who works over in Yellow Springs, in the team offices. And she said …

Vinnie "Captain of Industry" Vitale
Vinnie: That Helga Hellscape got a job over there.

McGuffin: … that Heidi Hickman … wait … you already knew?

Vinnie: Yeah, I heard.

Caleca: Wow. Do you know people over in Yellow Springs, Vinnie?

Vinnie: I do, but that’s not how I heard. Gentlemen, when I have a disgruntled employee who leaves after doing something … untoward, like leaking a staff memo, let’s say … I make it my business to keep up with where they go and what they do.

Caleca and McGuffin (simultaneously): You do?

Vinnie: I do. I have a guy who runs a little P.I. shop, guy named Max Nash, and he and his people … um … keep tabs for me.

McGuffin: P.I.?

Vinnie: Private Investigator.

McGuffin (whistles): You had her tailed?

Vinnie (sarcastic): No, I thought I should just let some dame who leaked confidential team documents and made all kinds of disparaging comments about me just waltz outta here and carry on with her life. ‘Course I had her tailed. We also keep tabs on her social media, her phone …

McGuffin: You keep tabs on her phone?

Vinnie: You seem awful interested in this, Billy Boy.

McGuffin (gulps): Just from a purely professional standpoint.

Vinnie: Uh huh. Anyway, let’s just say Mr. Nash keeps me apprised.

Caleca: So, uh, Vinnie, anything we should be concerned about?

Vinnie: It’s not real clear what all Helga’s gonna be up to over there yet … some kinda outreach … somebody heard “ambassador.”

McGuffin: Ambassador? What, she’s going overseas?

Vinnie (guffaws): Not likely. I don’t think the “Yellow Snow Nine” have that kinda appeal ...

McGuffin: Yellow Springs …

Vinnie (irritated): I know what they're called. That was a joke, McGuffin. Keep up.

McGuffin: Yes sir. Funny joke, sir.

Vinnie: Don’t be an ass. Anyway, it’s supposed to be some sort of fan outreach, or some such bullshit. I don’t buy it.

Caleca: You don’t?

Vinnie: No, I don’t. Not for one red minute. That Collins fella over there, he comes off all professorial with the patches on his sleeves and that wonky stats thing he does on the side, but I don’t trust him.

Helga Hellscape
Caleca: No …

Vinnie: So I got Manny Moretti – one of my lawyers …

Caleca: Yeah, I know Manny …

Vinnie: Yeah. Anyway, Manny’s going into court tomorrow asking for a TRO …

McGuffin: TRO?

Vinnie (sighs): Temporary Restraining Order. Keep up, McGuffin.

McGuffin (quietly): Yes, Vinnie.

Vinnie: Don’t be an ass, McGuffin. Anyway, we’re seeking a TRO to keep Heidi … (laughs) … Helga … at least 1,000 yards from any of my offices or properties, including Sox Park. And any phone calls or texts to our people … at work, anyway … will be treated as harassment. Manny’s also drafting a letter to her and to Collins warning that The Blueprint™ is proprietary intellectual property and that Helga is not to discuss it or to use it in any context in her new job.

Bill McGuffin
Caleca: Wow. So, how will you know if she’s trying to get into the ballpark, say?

Vinnie: Well, all our security guys at the park know her. Plus, Max and his people are very … very … thorough. We’ll know.

McGuffin: Wow.

Vinnie: Yeah. See, McGuffin? Pays to stay on my good side, right?

McGuffin: Yes sir!

Vinnie: OK. Anything else? How’s Sampson doing? His ankle any better?

Caleca: Simpson. And yeah – last we heard he may only be out another week. Two at the most.

Vinnie: Good, good. I like Mike. That was money well spent. Good ballplayer.

Caleca: Mark. And yes it was, and yes he is.

Vinnie: OK, gentlemen. I’m goin’ back to Captain of Industry stuff.

McGuffin: Aye aye, captain!

Vinnie: Jesus. McGuffin?

McGuffin: Yeah, Vinnie?

Vinnie: Don’t be an ass.

McGuffin: I’ll try, sir.

[Call and video end]

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