Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

GM: Victor Caleca

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Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by HoosierVic » Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:53 pm

[Dashcam/iPhone footage from inside South Side Tow Truck CC24]

(Dashboard lights and the glare of headlights streaming north on the opposite side of a divided highway illuminate the interior of a tow truck, driven by Black Sox GM and part time South Side driver Vic Caleca. Sleet from a mid-November storm is pelting the windshield, and the truck’s wipers are slapping back and forth).

Vic Caleca: Damn it. How hard can it be to find a Chevy Suburban in the breakdown lane? Those things are big as tanks.

(He keys the microphone of the truck’s dash-mounted radio)

Johnny, where did you say that truck was? I’m about a mile south of the Sibley Boulevard exit and I don’t see squat.

Johnny: Should be right around there. You in the southbound lanes?

Caleca: Yeah … oh, wait. I think maybe I see it up there – has the orange abandoned tag on it.

Johnny: Yeah, that should be it.

Caleca: OK, I’ll grab it.
Image
(Caleca’s iPhone goes off, and he glances at the display screen and sees it’s Sox owner Vinnie Vitale. He sighs deeply, then activates the hands-free function … )

Caleca: Answer phone …

Vinnie Vitale: Vic, that you?

Caleca: Yeah, I’m kinda busy right now, Vinnie. (Pulls over to the shoulder in front of the suburban and activates his flashers).

Vinnie: Yeah, well, not busy enough, apparently. Where the hell are you?

Caleca: I’m in one of your tow trucks, Vinnie, about to grab a Chevy Suburban and take it to a mechanic.

Vinnie: (Sounding surprised and pleased) Yeah? Billy get you set up with a schedule?

Caleca: Oh, yeah. I pulled the overnight tonight, Vinnie.

Vinnie: Oh. Well maybe that explains why you left three of our best young guys open to the expansion draft.

Caleca (Sounding shocked): What? No way. We combed through that list the league sent us of the eligible players and … wait. Who do you think we left unprotected?

Vinnie: Well, Cleide, Moelling and Sosa for three …

Caleca: Hey, there is no way we would leave them unprotected. They were not on the list of eligibles. I even asked, and they said that the list we were working with was right and go ahead and submit your names.

Vinnie: Yeah, well, a little birdie told me the league screwed up on that first list and issued a new one about, oh, four hours ago.

Caleca: Damn it, Vinnie. This is not my fault. I mean, how can I know that when you’ve got me out here on the Bishop Ford Freeway looking for abandoned trucks?

Vinnie: Watch your tone, Caleca. I still haven’t forgot that trade

Caleca (Sighs): Fine. Sorry. But, Vinnie, I’m out here in the sleet, not back in the office waiting for the league to message me.

Vinnie: Bitch, bitch, bitch. Well, get that damn Suburban back to impound …

Caleca: Nah, it’s supposed to go to a mechanic over in Hammond …

Vinnie: Screw that. It'll take too long. Just take it to our impound lot and get back to the office and fix your screwup.

Caleca: I hardly think the league sending out the wrong list is my screwup.

Vinnie (sounding annoyed): Yeah, well, it will be your screwup if you don’t get it fixed. Capeesh? You know Cleide’s my guy. We lose him, we’re gonna lose you somewhere in the Little Calumet …

Caleca: Jesus, Vinnie. OK, I’ll get back there and see what I can do.

Vinnie: I’ll tell you what you do, you get on the horn to Rectenfeld …

Caleca: Who?

Vinnie: You know, the commish. Rectenberg …

Caleca: You mean Rectenwald? Matt Rectenwald?

Vinnie: Yeah. That’s what I said.

Caleca (Sighs again): OK, Vinnie, I’ll contact the commissioner’s office and see what they can do to help us out.

Vinnie: You do that. Oh, and Caleca?

Caleca: Yeah?

Vinnie: Don’t scratch that Suburban. We’ve got a reputation to uphold …

Caleca: Jesus.

Vinnie: What was that?

Caleca: Have a good night, Vinnie.

Vinnie: Yeah, that’s what I thought you said. Have a good one. Fix the thing with the commish, and take good care of that Suburban.

[The call ends, and Caleca checks for traffic and then climbs down out of the cab into the driving sleet.]

Caleca (muttering to himself as he pulls up the hood of his yellow rain slicker): Don’t be a sap, I thought. This Mumbai job sucks. Go to the BBA. Bright lights, big city … what a moron …

[Recording ends]

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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by jleddy » Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:32 pm

Absolute gold.
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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by 7teen » Thu Sep 12, 2019 4:08 pm

Portland selects Moelling with its first pick.

Sorry, I just sent that into the commish’s office.
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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by HoosierVic » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:04 pm

I’m sure Commissioner Rectenball will take good care of it ...

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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by recte44 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:11 pm

Recthemwalls
Matt Rectenwald
Commissioner, GM: Nashville Bluebirds

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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by HoosierVic » Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:20 pm

recte44 wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:11 pm
Recthemwalls
Say, Mort, while you’re here ...

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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by RonCo » Fri Sep 13, 2019 11:44 am

Heh.
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Re: Sox Scoops 40.001 Of Expansion Lists And Abandoned Suburbans

Post by Fat Nige » Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:34 pm

Great stuff Vic, still can't get used to Matt with that new logo though lol
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