65.1- I Got An Award!

[chicoruiz]

I have a trophy case in my office. It’s mostly empty. And I mean, that’s as it should be; it’s an accurate reflection of my accomplishments as GM of Atlantic City… but it’s still kind of depressing to look at. So when I heard that a local organization known as “Serene Villas” wanted to present me with some sort of award that involved a plaque, I was more than happy to drive out there and receive it in person.

Serene Villas turned out to be everything that the name implies. Quiet, rolling hills, white picket fences, walking trails around a duck pond… I could feel myself unclench as I pulled in.

The folks who live there seemed to be a nice sort as well. I had a really nice meal- white tablecloths and the whole deal- a piece of pumpkin pie, and soon afterwards an older gentleman rose and tapped his water glass with a spoon for attention.

“Our very special guest today, receiving the “Person of the Year” award, is the general manager of our very own Atlantic City Gamblers, Chico Ruiz. As all of you know, we’re spending time at Serene Villas because we have what might be described as a highly sensitive nervous system. Any excitement, or anything that might cause our blood pressure to rise to unhealthy levels, is to be avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, many of us are sports fans- specifically baseball fans. And sports have been known to raise a fan’s anxiety levels to a level that we simply couldn’t tolerate.

“That’s where Chico comes in. Through his leadership, the Gamblers have become the perfect franchise for folks like us to follow. They’re not so good that we have to agonize over a nail-biting postseason. At the same time, they’re not so bad that we become overly frustrated. In fact, each of their front-line players could have been chosen for someone with our condition. No one so bad that we yell at the TV about replacing them, but no one so good that we have to worry about losing them.

“And I’m proud to say, that Chico seems to be continuing the same philosophy throughout this offseason. So far, his additions have been… (consults notes)… in free agency, a middle inning relief pitcher and a backup catcher. And as far as trades, he has acquired… (consults notes)… A fourth outfielder and another reliever. So lift your glasses, one and all to our person of the year, Chico Ruiz. Thanks for making baseball safe for us, Chico...Keep up the good work!”

I couldn’t help but have a certain amount of mixed feelings about this particular award, but I’m keeping the plaque. Anything to help fill all that empty space...

[RonCo]

Caleca.

[recte44]

[chicoruiz]

Hey… I finally decided that instead of telling myself that I couldn’t write team news because my team is so boring, I’d lean into it and make the whole “boring” thing my topic. Not sure I can get a whole season’s worth of team newses out of that concept, but I got one, anyway…

[recte44]

I dont worry about boring. My team news is generally as boring as it gets.