2064.05 Offensive MVP

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Despite the absolute disgrace the Robins' offensive prowess was in 2064, ranking in the bottom three in nearly every offensive team statistic, we here at the Fans of the Old Brooklyn Team and Not the New Cobble Hill Team (FOBTNWCH, for short) feel it's still necessary to name an offensive MVP.

Robins' corner infielder Ismael Delgado wins this year's prize, slashing a respectable .278/.355/.845 with 24 homers and 72 ribbies. His move from first base to third base in the field, due to the promotion of 2064 first round pick and third overall Roderick Hochstetler, did not phase the sweet, swinging lefty in only his first full season in Brooklyn ... err ... Cobble Hill (we spit on this name).

"I like to hit baseballs," Delgado said via an interpreter. "It fun."

Delgado would have been a shoe-in for a sweep in the Rookie of the Year Award vote or whatever it's called in the Brewster, but the Robins also had some fantastic play from three rookie pitchers. Unfortunately, results of he vote were unavailable at the time of this articles writing.