by Ollie Lowry, exclusive to the Player's Journal
I'm writing this shortly after getting the call from Yellow Springs Nine General Manager Rob McMonigal. As I expected, despite having my best season there so far at the "old" age of 35, the Nine decided paying me three million dollars not to play for them next year was their best move.
Now I won't mind the free three million. And I'm sure I'll sign on somewhere else and show why I was worth the deal I signed with Long Beach several years ago, but I feel like there's a lot of bad blood between me and the Yellow Springs fans. And that's just not fair.
Look, I never asked to be traded. I rejected an offer from McMonigal prior to opting for the Surfers' deal. I had a feeling being a part of that organization was bad news. And man, was my first instinct ever correct. But I was stupid and didn't insist on any kind of no-trade clause, figuring my opt-out was enough protection. Plus, I knew I would be great with Long Beach, just like I had been with Nashville. My troubled time in Brooklyn was behind me. (Thankfully I'd include an opt out.) I knew I could be a better starter if I had half a team behind me.
But instead, it felt that under Lane's "leadership" (he's almost as bad as McMonigal), half the team was against me. I kept feeling like I was being blamed for why the team wasn't doing better in the standings, despite having a winning record. Sure, I was 9-10 myself, but I was doing better than league average in my advanced metrics. Yet still, I was sent off to the BBA equivalent of Sibera Yellow Springs. Where the only reason it's not as cold as deepest Russia is because they have a retractable roof. Adding insult to injury, I was traded for Yong-hoon Chong, who hasn't even played above A-ball and was recently waived out of the Surfers organization.
It was humiliating! Me, a former 2-time All Star and former BBA Champion, being sent off to a horrible organization going nowhere in 2059 (and 60, and 61, and 62, and, well you get the point) for a player with no clear future. I'm sure Chong is a hard-working guy, but he wasn't fair value for me.
The insult impacted on my pitching. I won't lie. I did not play well for the Nine in 2059. The stats speak for themselves. 7.77 ERA. Nearly 2 hits/walks per inning pitched. 16 walks in just 22 innings. It was a total disaster.
But I vowed 2060 would be better. And it was. Despite the overall team struggling, I was 9-13 with 2 saves in 34 games, 25 of them starts. I gave up my rightful place so that Dave Lee could get his 200 victories. And he did! My 4.93 ERA wasn't amazing, but it was still one of the better rates on the team. I was sure things were turning around and that McMonigal would recognize that. He's even promised me that I would be a starter for the team again the following season. I knew him to be a man of his word. Things were looking up for sure.
But then it happened. In 2061, with Lee shipped off to Silver Springs as a pitching coach (lucky for him, he escaped the organization and is now with Vancouver's AA team), I was - get this! - forced into a full time role in the bullpen again, the very reason I'd left Nashville about in the first place. You can't just go from starter to reliever successfully. It's a transition. If I had known all off-season, I could have prepared. Instead, I went 2-4 with just 3 saves and 5.55 ERA in 47 games. (What is with my time in Yellow Springs and having ERAs with the same number like that, anyway? It's probably part of the curse of playing for them.)
Now here's the really stupid part. I'm already mad at McMonigal for lying to me. Then he tries to make it even worse by claiming that he wasn't around at all and that decisions were being made by the Assistant General Manager and Manager Bill Inkster, which is why I didn't get the chance to start. What a crock of you-know-what!
Now we're at the part of the story where I know I'm going to get asked why I stayed when I could have opted out after that attempt to anger me so badly that I'd leave. Well, let me tell you something, I had twenty-nine million dollars worth of reasons to stay. Would you turn that down, dear reader?
I didn't think so.
That meant two more years of being here, with the potential for a third if they kept me around. And let me tell you, that was a rough period for me, especially in 2062. I got bounced around to all sorts of roles as the team floundered. I started, then I closed, then I stopped, then I was mop up. Rinse and repeat all damned year long. In 36 games, ten of them starts, I had a 6.11 ERA. I couldn't get into any kind of a rhythm. I dreamed every night of being traded somewhere, anywhere - even Valencia. That's when you know you're desperate.
Something had to give. So I spent the 2062-63 off-season really soul-searching. I thought a lot about the Serenity Prayer. Accept the things you cannot change and all that. I spoke to other players who were struggling, like Steven Flannery and Steven Clayton, to see how they'd handled having rough seasons and high pay checks.
"Just be yourself," said Clayton when I called him. "Don't let the pressure build up. It'll break your back."
I took his advice. And 2063 went much better. I felt like the old Ollie again. I accepted my role as a primary reliever. I went 5-2 with 3 saves and a 4.20 ERA coming out of the bullpen. I also got three starts, but honestly? I knew I was better as a reliever now and it showed on the field. I felt like I was truly back.
And then I got cut. Because McMonigal and owner Bo Jordan didn't want to pay me thirteen million. So now they'll pay me three to prove them wrong elsewhere. I can live with that.
I haven't talked much about the fans here and that's on purpose. You see, despite my struggles, they never abandoned me. I was cheered every time I stepped onto a mound for the Nine, especially at home. They celebrated my successes and looked just as unhappy as I was when I struggled. But they never, ever stopped being in my corner. If anything, I became even more popular. I'm so honored by the way they made me feel welcome. I think in some ways, my struggles matched theirs. My frustrations and treatment were so similar to their poor treatment by the Nine's management team.
Yellow Springs deserves a winner. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to give it to them. But I was only one guy out of twenty-seven. I did all I could. I gave everything I had. Yes, I had a lot of bad games. I'm not stupid. But I think so much of it was because I wasn't allowed an opportunity to do what I do best, either as a starter or as a reliever. Like their hopes every spring, I was jerked around.
Again, I never asked to be in Yellow Springs. And I also never asked to leave. But here we are. I just hope that my next stop appreciates me for who I am. A guy with a live arm who'll never stop working to be the best. My next chapter starts now.
