Gertie and the BBAs Sexist GM at the podium
“It’s official, Wolves fans. Nobody else will ever wear number **23** again in the storied history of this franchise. That number belongs to one player, and one player only — Manobu Shimizu. From this day forward, it joins the rafters in elite company — with #11 Charles Puckett, #27 Dusty Rhodes, and #31 Steve Dempsey."
These men didn’t just put up numbers — they built the identity of the Wolves. They made this team matter. And Manobu? He didn’t just join them — he **earned** this. Every at-bat, every sprint down the line, every moment he stood in that box with the game on the line — he made Wolves baseball feel inevitable.”
<GERTIE CONTINUES>
“You want stats? Sure. Manobu leads the franchise in career batting average (.339), is third all-time in hits with 3,452, and ranks second in OPS (.974) — barely behind the titan that is Charles Puckett. He owns five of the top ten single-season batting averages in team history. He was pure chaos for pitchers. A line drive machine with over 630 doubles, 103 triples, and a quiet, relentless motor that stole 379 bases. He didn’t just do everything — he did it with style and silence. You never saw him brag. But boy, you noticed when he wasn’t in the lineup.”
“To be in the same breath as Puckett, Rhodes, and Dempsey? That’s **elite** company — and make no mistake, Manobu belongs there. This is a man who didn’t just fill a role — he defined an era.”
<GM SIMON TAKES THE MIC>
“I’ve had the privilege of building rosters filled with great players… but Manobu made the job simple. He never slumped. Never sulked. He showed up, sharpened, and went to work. He was the kind of guy every scout hopes to find and every fan hopes to watch for a generation.”
“This number retirement isn’t a farewell. It’s a celebration — a promise that no matter what happens next, #23 will always belong to one of the greatest Wolves to ever step foot on a diamond.”
<THE GREATS REFLECT>
Charles Puckett: “If anyone was going to come close to my records, it was Manobu. The way he read pitchers — it was like he had a crystal ball. I loved watching him hit. Even when it meant scooting down a spot in the record book.”
Steve Dempsey: “Manobu had ice in his veins and velvet in his swing. He was a pro’s pro — and this franchise is lucky to have had him.”
Dusty Rhodes: “Some guys hit the ball. Manobu **whispered** to it. And it always listened.”
<SURPRISE GUEST: PORTLAND GM CHRIS WILSON JOINS> @7teen
“I know this is Wolves territory,” Chris Wilson says with a grin, stepping to the podium. “But if I could ask you to forgive one proud GM from Portland who’s beaming just a little today...”*
“I drafted Manobu in 2038, and I knew he’d be special. What I didn’t know — what nobody could’ve predicted — was that he’d go on to be **a generational figure** for an entirely different franchise. It’s not easy watching a guy you drafted build a Hall of Fame résumé in another uniform… but I’ve never been anything but proud of what he accomplished here in Madison.”
“He never had an ego. Just hunger. He showed up with a lunch pail, and he never stopped working. And Wolves fans — you gave him a home that brought out his greatness. So thank you. And Manobu — from Portland to Madison and everywhere in between — your journey was unforgettable.”
<CLOSING BY GERTIE>
“So we raise a glass. We lift our eyes. And we send one final *thank you* to the man who wore #23 like it was tailored for greatness. Manobu, you’re not just a Wolf forever — you’re a legend. And now, your number rests where it belongs: above us all.”
[#23 Retired. Forever a Wolf.
]
