Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
Off Topic
Can Anybody in Mad Pope Front Office Run a Business?
Nov 16, 2055
Among all the recent hullabaloo surrounding the Mad Popes both on the field, with the field, and off the field, add this:
Imagine you are Joseph Aspromonte, just your everyday average guy, and you wake up to put your pop tarts in the toaster and guzzle down a half a gallon of coffee before you go to your eye-gougingly boring job as a service manager for one of the more popular local restaurants, and while you’re doing that your communications bot pings, and what do you find in your inbox, but (as a season ticket holder to your favorite baseball team) a notice about season ticket prices.
Imagine you open this missive and find not the expected marketing speak about exciting games and great times to go with a price hike, but instead what looks like an internal email composed to outline the planned season ticket drive. And then imagine how you might choke on your coffee when you get to this bit.
It’s no wonder then, the young Mr. Aspromonte, who neighbors had found screaming in agony on his kitchen floor, was wheeled into the SacMemorial Hospital emergency room with third-degree coffee burns over most of his body.
No word on whether the team is paying for his bill, but it’s clear the fans are going to want to hear about this. You see, it turns out the internal memo was sent to the broad list of Season Ticket holders.
Consider this reporter to be sitting back with the popcorn, watching the process unfold.
