2043-00001: Talons Add Extra Zeros to News Counter to Reflect Ambitious Goal of 99,999 Team News Articles

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

Nobody reads this crap, eh? Well the Talons say "Who Cares!"

The Talons front office had a bit of a sad yesterday as they looked over the teams' 2042 PPT summary. Despite 18 amazing (and unread) Team Newses, a 7-for-70 feature, and even the Talons first ever podcast, It all added up to a pathetic 60 points. And with all the work this team needs, those 60 points don't amount to a heap of shit.

And it's not just because SP Don Smith needs a bit of community service work to change his greed-filled worldview. Last season's first round pick SP Antonio Gonzales could use a personal trainer to help out his crappy work ethic. LF Pedro Guzman could use some Leadership training. And, lets face it, 3B Pankratz Isekenmier isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

All of that work takes points, and lots of them. With triple digit Team News totals now becoming the norm, the Talons decided to set a goal that would meet all of the team needs and then some. David Frum, head of the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department, explains: "Back in the day, teams would just number their Team News posts simply, such as 1, 2, 3, etc. Then, as teams got to writing more, they would make it more like a counter, i.e. 01, 02, 03 - you get the idea."

Frum continued. "Now that Team News totals into the hundreds are all the rage, every other team is like 001, 002, 003. So the Talons decided, 'fuck it, let's number our posts as if we had tens of thousands of articles to write'. The some intern said, 'what if we really did write that many articles! We'd have PPT for DAYS!' Yeah, kid was pretty dumb, in a sad, millenial kind of way. But he may have something here."

Will the Talons actually write that many articles? What do you think! Leave a comment below, and don't forget to like and subscribe!

[shoeless.db]

It's sad you don't believe in yourself enough to write six figures worth of articles.

[Lane]

looking forward to ignoring the other 99,999 TNs from the Talons this year.

Best of luck in '43!

[jleddy]

It's sad you don't believe in yourself enough to write six figures worth of articles.

Interestingly enough, six figures is also the total All-Star votes for Talons players since 2029.

[jiminyhopkins]

It's sad you don't believe in yourself enough to write six figures worth of articles.

Interestingly enough, six figures is also the total All-Star votes for Talons players since 2029.

Comment of the year!

[HoosierVic]

The Phoenix Talons could be the inaugural member of the BBA’s Eleventy Billion Club, which would be quite the feather in your cap. And you could afford putting feathers in all your caps with that many PPts ...

[7teen]

Ambitious!

[CTBrewCrew]

Just type one letter in each team news....i believe in you!

[RonCo]

subscribe.

[Fat Nige]

It's sad you don't believe in yourself enough to write six figures worth of articles.

It’s true though, we have some great writers in the BBA, but there’s a few that won’t share, won’t spare 30 minutes a week/month just to jot down their great thoughts

[bcslouck]

It’s true though, we have some great writers in the BBA, but there’s a few that won’t share, won’t spare 30 minutes a week/month just to jot down their great thoughts

[jiminyhopkins]

It's sad you don't believe in yourself enough to write six figures worth of articles.

It’s true though, we have some great writers in the BBA, but there’s a few that won’t share, won’t spare 30 minutes a week/month just to jot down their great thoughts

My first thought was to apologize for depriving you all of that great content. But then I noticed you mentioned "great writers", so that couldn't possibly refer to me. So we're all good! (insert @RonCo smiley face here)

[RonCo]

I saw that.