9-News: 39.021 – YS9 Calls on LaLoosh

[RonCo]

In a sign that some consider representative of their overall desperation, the Yellow Springs Nine have called up veteran starter and hallowed team icon Lawrence Columbus “Crash” LaLoosh. The big righthander is clearly a shell of his former self, but the team’s front office is hoping he can catch hint of the ozone remnants of the electricity that once put him among the elite of the league.

“We don’t expect him to come in and dominate,” said manager Bill Inkster, “but he looked good in his extended spring training down in Indy.” LaLoosh threw 4.2 innings with the AAA club, allowing only one run and striking out six.

Though the pitcher says he’d like to start, team insiders say he’ll be used out of the bullpen. That said, it’s clear that the team still hasn’t figured out the starting rotation, the latest news in their adventure being that Han-lee Kim has now been officially considered a wash-out and was claimed on waivers by San Fernando. The positive news is that the club got a pair of shutouts against Seattle and swept the series by a combined score of 10-3. If only they could find a way around Valle and Ramos and three days of the Lame-os.

It’s tempting to hope the team try LaLoosh out in the rotation for bigger picture things, too. The longtime Nine icon has 169 career wins to go with his three Nebraska awards. If he stays healthy, he’s got time to make 200 wins, which might then give him a whiff of a Hall of Fame conversation. Alas, though, the odds are strongly stacked against. The big fastball is gone, and the slider lefts on its coat tails. Today, the guy they call crash lives off a changeup that apparently changes about half the time he uses it. He works the corners, though, and some say he can still keep guys off the bases.

Time will tell, though. And the truth is that time rarely works in the favor of guys like LaLoosh.

“I’m happy for the chance to wear the red and black again,” LaLoosh said when informed he would be called up. “I’m happy to let the future play out.”

[usnspecialist]

han lee kim is my kinda guy, couldn't help but take a chance on him for my pen.