2037.8 - Boise Wonders: Is Trade Rape a BBA Pastime?
Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2019 1:56 pm
Dug Riddler wanders into Mr. Palin's office.
DR: I heard through the grapevine that you have been fielding offers for Yunosuke Terada...He's one of our best young players you know.
Jeff Palin: I can't even pronounce his name Dug and I would debate the "fielding offers" comment.
DR: So you haven't sought out offers for him?
JP: I didn't seek out any offers for anybody Dug. On a side note though, if as the General Manager of this team I decide I want to trade Yuno who, then I think I will go ahead and do it. Is that alright with you?
DR: I just think we should keep our good young players and build around them is all I was saying.
JP: I think I've been down this road before Dug.
DR: You are right...sorry...
JP: Gee thanks Dug. Anything else I can clear up while we are meeting on this Sunday morning for whatever reason?
DR: Uh, do you mind sharing the offers? I would like to know what the market is like here in the BBA...
JP: Offers? Comical...If trade rape is the current market, then we are in for a long haul in the BBA.
JP: To be fair, the first "GM" just inquired as to what I would be looking for in return. Of course once I suggested that I would be interested in one of his better young players in return for one of Boise's better young players, I got the 'ole: "well, I'm on my phone right now, but in like an hour I can look in game and I will get back to you."
DR: And?
JP: Seriously Dug? They don't get back to you after that. They were hoping for a free lunch and found out that they would have to pay fair value for said lunch...they aren't coming back. I'm sure they have a GM or 4 that they periodically slip it to unsuspected like. I didn't even care that he didn't respond again. No need to hear back how bad my player is and how great "his" player is and on an on...gives me a headache just thinking about that interaction and it never even occurred...
DR: Was there another "offer?" (Dug does the whole quote motion naturally)
JP: Oh sure, except I hadn't even pulled my pants down or assumed the position...
JP: In a nutshell the GM in question said: "Why don't you give me Ben Dover and then I will give you back Ben Dover. Wait, but there's more! I will also "give" you a shitty player, Phil McCracken, who makes $17M per for the next 3-4 years. How does that sound? You think we can work around those parameters?"
DR: Seriously? What did you say?
JP: I responded nicely and said: I would be happy to talk about a trade that made sense to me.
DR: That's it?
JP: Basically.
DR: Why didn't you tell him what you thought? It's not like you are a rookie GM or something.
JP: Why burst his bubble Dug? I'm sure in his mind he thought he was raping me, but that I either wouldn't notice and he'd steal my player and get rid of his ridiculous contract while giving up nothing or that by proposing a rape that I would, for whatever reason, find that appealing enough to negotiate further...I didn't. It's weird, but I find Trade Rape or the offering of Trade Rape to be offensive and then I have no desire to negotiate further.
JP: Who knows Dug...you get GM's in most leagues that go around trying to fleece the newer GM's regardless of their experience. The fact of the matter is that it is offensive to go around and do it at all to any GM.
JP: Anyway Dug, enough about BBA stupidity, grab that bottle of Wild Turkey and let's start this week off with a bang!
DR: Gitty up!
DR: I heard through the grapevine that you have been fielding offers for Yunosuke Terada...He's one of our best young players you know.
Jeff Palin: I can't even pronounce his name Dug and I would debate the "fielding offers" comment.
DR: So you haven't sought out offers for him?
JP: I didn't seek out any offers for anybody Dug. On a side note though, if as the General Manager of this team I decide I want to trade Yuno who, then I think I will go ahead and do it. Is that alright with you?
DR: I just think we should keep our good young players and build around them is all I was saying.
JP: I think I've been down this road before Dug.
DR: You are right...sorry...
JP: Gee thanks Dug. Anything else I can clear up while we are meeting on this Sunday morning for whatever reason?
DR: Uh, do you mind sharing the offers? I would like to know what the market is like here in the BBA...
JP: Offers? Comical...If trade rape is the current market, then we are in for a long haul in the BBA.
JP: To be fair, the first "GM" just inquired as to what I would be looking for in return. Of course once I suggested that I would be interested in one of his better young players in return for one of Boise's better young players, I got the 'ole: "well, I'm on my phone right now, but in like an hour I can look in game and I will get back to you."
DR: And?
JP: Seriously Dug? They don't get back to you after that. They were hoping for a free lunch and found out that they would have to pay fair value for said lunch...they aren't coming back. I'm sure they have a GM or 4 that they periodically slip it to unsuspected like. I didn't even care that he didn't respond again. No need to hear back how bad my player is and how great "his" player is and on an on...gives me a headache just thinking about that interaction and it never even occurred...
DR: Was there another "offer?" (Dug does the whole quote motion naturally)
JP: Oh sure, except I hadn't even pulled my pants down or assumed the position...
JP: In a nutshell the GM in question said: "Why don't you give me Ben Dover and then I will give you back Ben Dover. Wait, but there's more! I will also "give" you a shitty player, Phil McCracken, who makes $17M per for the next 3-4 years. How does that sound? You think we can work around those parameters?"
DR: Seriously? What did you say?
JP: I responded nicely and said: I would be happy to talk about a trade that made sense to me.
DR: That's it?
JP: Basically.
DR: Why didn't you tell him what you thought? It's not like you are a rookie GM or something.
JP: Why burst his bubble Dug? I'm sure in his mind he thought he was raping me, but that I either wouldn't notice and he'd steal my player and get rid of his ridiculous contract while giving up nothing or that by proposing a rape that I would, for whatever reason, find that appealing enough to negotiate further...I didn't. It's weird, but I find Trade Rape or the offering of Trade Rape to be offensive and then I have no desire to negotiate further.
JP: Who knows Dug...you get GM's in most leagues that go around trying to fleece the newer GM's regardless of their experience. The fact of the matter is that it is offensive to go around and do it at all to any GM.
JP: Anyway Dug, enough about BBA stupidity, grab that bottle of Wild Turkey and let's start this week off with a bang!
DR: Gitty up!