2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
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2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
BOISE, ID --
With 39 long balls this season, star right fielder Ken Gerhart III has been one of the league's best in hitting taters. Now, he'll be making them.
Enraged after team nutritionists removed Ore-Ida french fries from the team dining hall, Gerhart III quickly took matters into his own hands, drawing up plans for a shop that will be stock-full of locally sourced potato products. And yes, that includes fries.
"Fry and stop me now," Gerhart III told reporters gleefully. "You're going to love the look and peel of our shop."
Still on a league minimum salary, the shrewd businessman knew he couldn't invest in the idea alone, so he enlisted the help of Tavio Ciccolella. The 37-year-old iron man comes from humble roots, and has saved away much of the $85 million he has earned throughout his BBA career, so when Gerhart III pitched his idea, Ciccolella threw some money his way in exchange for an undisclosed stake in the business.
The pitcher figured that even if the idea didn't pan out, it'd make the kid happy, and that was worthwhile to him.
"I love Kenny," Ciccolella said. "He respects me for who I yam."
At press time, Gerhart III was seen hastily scribbling plans for the shop in his notebook before jogging on the field for practice. Updates on the timetable for the start of construction, as well as the shop's name, will be provided as they become available.
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Re: 2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
Gerhart is now among my favorite players because he made multiple puns. That's truly all it takes.
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Re: 2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
Ugh, ketchup in the picture.
Where's the mayo?
Where's the mayo?
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Re: 2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
Ugh. Mayo? That'd be a may-no.
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Re: 2035.26 Tater Traitor: Gerhart III announces partnership with team veteran to open local fry shop
Everyone knows it's fires and tartar sauce.
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