2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

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2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by starfox64 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 4:28 pm

BOISE, ID --
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As the Spuds prepared to take on Valencia this weekend, pre-game rituals were going as normal for Ken Gerhart III. He'd pulled his Toyota into the team lot, iced an aching shoulder and then headed into the team's mess hall for a pregame meal.

One problem.

"Where the fuck are the french fries?" Gerhart III asked as he scanned the buffet area. The left fielder explained that the Ore-Ida brand french fries were his good luck snack and had enabled his breakout season, much like Matt Carpenter's salsa from decades before.

A nervous team nutritionist, Valerie Lampard, told Gerhart III that a decision had been made to stop serving the popular item after a study found they "were not suitable for consumption by athletes." As an aside, she quickly added that of course non-athletes could still eat them. Of course. Of COURSE.

Crestfallen, Gerhart III slowly ambled over to the carrots, plopped a few on his plate, and sadly meandered to an empty seat. He reportedly attempted to dip the vegetable into cheese, so as to make the food more closely resemble a fry.

"This is the worst day of my life," Gerthart III said.

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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by 7teen » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:39 pm

No fries!? In Boise!?

I'm thinking the team is about to lose some valuable sponsorship money and a fan interest hit with this story.....
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by RonCo » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:46 pm

Curiouser and curiouser.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by usnspecialist » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:47 pm

considering Gerhart has been the one offensive player worth a damn this season for boise, if he wants to eat French fries let him eat some damn fries.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by starfox64 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 9:56 pm

usnspecialist wrote:
Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:47 pm
considering Gerhart has been the one offensive player worth a damn this season for boise, if he wants to eat French fries let him eat some damn fries.
He’s gotta stay healthy! Who knows what’s in those fries...

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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by jiminyhopkins » Sat Aug 18, 2018 3:16 am

He gets paid 3 grand per game. Make him buy his own damn fries!
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by 7teen » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:44 am

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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by jiminyhopkins » Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:03 pm

Lol and David Justice can afford his own damn Pepsi!
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by 7teen » Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:24 pm

jiminyhopkins wrote:
Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:03 pm
Lol and David Justice can afford his own damn Pepsi!
Soda Money?
French Fry Money?

I tried to embed the video clip from the movie but can't figure it out on these forums.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by RonCo » Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:58 pm

There's a video icon in the toolbar.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by scottsdale_joe » Sat Aug 18, 2018 2:08 pm

Gerhart is Canadian. He probably puts vinegar on his fries. I first saw that many years ago at the now extinct Blue Bonnets harness track in Montreal. In Belgium & the Netherlands I learned to love French fries with mayonnaise. I still use both from time to time. Ketchup? Yuch.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by Lane » Sat Aug 18, 2018 4:06 pm

He should sneak some poutine in.
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Re: 2035.22 Boise star stunned at team buffet change

Post by Joshua Biddle » Sat Aug 18, 2018 4:46 pm

Seems like an outrage

Not going to lie, my brain is "fried" wondering how this is possible.
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