Tater Talk (2053.02): Spuds' New Pitcher Looks a Lot Like Old Pitcher, Confusion Ensues

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Tater Talk (2053.02): Spuds' New Pitcher Looks a Lot Like Old Pitcher, Confusion Ensues

Post by woods » Sun Nov 27, 2022 3:07 am

Image Bernie Stuart set his gym bag down in front of a row of lockers in the clubhouse. It was the first day of Spring Training, and being new to the organization, he was excited to meet his teammates. He extended a hand towards his locker-neighbor, a rookie named Dani Colomo.

“Nice to meet you. It seems we’re neighbors.”

The rookie looked up in astonishment. “Whoa! I can’t believe they’d put me right next to such a legend!”

Stuart was flattered. “Come on now,” he said, trying to calm the rookie down. “We’re just teammates.”

“Of course,” Colomo said. “Still, it’s an honor to meet the great Robin Cooper.”

“What?” Stuart said. “No, I’m Bernie. Bernie Stuart. I’m new here too.”

Colomo looked back at him, confused. “You mean that stud in Chicago? Ha! I bet you wish you were.”

Stuart didn’t know what to make of that comment, but he guessed he should take it as a compliment.

“Anyway, I’m on ball duty,” Colomo said, picking up a bucket full of baseballs. “I’ll see you out there for stretching, Coop.” The rookie headed out to the field.

Stuart looked in the mirror and pondered that last interaction. He supposed he understood why people mistook him for Robin Cooper. They had similar builds, the same style of sideburns, and wore the same number 3 on their jerseys. But Cooper played for Chicago now, Stuart’s old home, possibly using Stuart’s old locker, and in a very similar position there as the one in which Stuart found himself in Boise.

Stuart saw a clubhouse attendant and got his attention. “Hi, sorry, which way to the restrooms?” he asked.

The attendant laughed. “That’s a good one, Coop. You trying out for the role of ‘prankster’ this year?” He walked away.


* * * *
Stuart thought that surely someone would have heard the news that the organization traded for him. It was a blockbuster deal! Didn’t anyone have Twitter any more?

But, as it turned out, even his own manager wasn’t immune to the belief that Stuart was Robin Cooper.

In the sixth inning of a game against Rocky Mountain, Spuds’ manager Kang Der emerged from the dugout and approached the mound.

“All right, Coop,” he started. “They’ve got Trinidad and Chenoweth coming up, a couple of tough righties. You pitched well, but we’re gonna have to go with the side-advantage here.”

“But I pitch right-handed,” Stuart argued. He lifted up his right hand, to show the baseball it was holding. “See?”

His manager wasn’t convinced. “I like the fire,” he said. “But it’s Spring. No need to over-extend yourself.” He took the ball from Stuart’s outstretched right hand. “Gimme the righty,” he called towards the bullpen.

Stuart, confused, walked off the field to the sound of the home fans chanting Robin Cooper’s name. “Coop! Coop! Coop!” they repeated.

So this is how it was going to be. At least they seemed to love the guy.
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Re: Tater Talk (2053.02): Spuds' New Pitcher Looks a Lot Like Old Pitcher, Confusion Ensues

Post by Dington » Sun Nov 27, 2022 9:55 am

Bernie had a lot more soul. You can even see it on his face.
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Re: Tater Talk (2053.02): Spuds' New Pitcher Looks a Lot Like Old Pitcher, Confusion Ensues

Post by RT60 » Sun Nov 27, 2022 11:58 am

Bernie better hope the paycheck is getting to the right account!

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