SCENE: The trainer’s room at a recent Chilis game. Gary Goodchild and Hao Hang, two longtime residents of the disabled list, are sitting in side-by-side whirlpool tubs. The game is showing on a monitor hanging in the corner, but the volume is turned down and neither one appears to paying attention to it…
GOODCHILD: Hey Hao, pass me another of those Playboy back issues, will you?
HANG: There aren’t any more. Jose Torres kept getting excited and dropping them in the water. Man, I’m glad that guy got sent home.
GOODCHILD: Yeah, he kept farting in the tub and thinking no one noticed. Oh well, with a shredded arm and an expiring deal, I expect we’ve seen the last of him. Not like us, baby… here’s to long-term contracts!
HANG: Yeah… I kind of feel bad for our illustrious GM though… This team needs a dose of pitching and power, and here we two sit in the trainer’s room whirlpools, unable to help.
GOODCHILD: Meh… Finding some loser off the street to try and replace us will give him something to do. Hey, speaking of whirlpools- I mean, I’ve got a knee injury, but why do you have to spend so much time in the tub for a hurt finger? I mean, your hand is never even really in the tub…
HANG: I just like it. It relaxes me after a hard day of not being able to flip anyone off with my right hand, which is my preferred flipping off hand. Plus it’s kind of fun watching myself get all prune-y.
GOODCHILD: You’re a weird guy Hao…you know that?
At this point a Chilis assistant trainer enters, escorting outfielder Ernesto Alfonso, whose eyes appear to be rolling freely in their sockets without regard to each other’s positions.
TRAINER: Hey guys, can you keep an eye on Ernesto here? He took a really bad shot to the dome, and he's for sure got a concussion. We just need to monitor him for possible post-concussion syndrome.
HANG AND GOODCHILD: Sure, sure… Come on in and take a load off, Ernesto.
ALFONSO (addressing Hang and Goodchild): Hi Mom, Hi Mrs. Morales. Is Sophia home from school yet? I wanna check and see if I missed any homework when the unicorn came and took me for a ride…
ALL: Uh-oh…
Poblanotes 51.4- A Peek Into the Trainer's Room
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Re: Poblanotes 51.4- A Peek Into the Trainer's Room
All this talk about sitting in the tub, hands above or under the water, flipping off, taking a load off...are you sure that wasn't a back issue of Penthouse Forum they were passing around in your clubhouse?
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Re: Poblanotes 51.4- A Peek Into the Trainer's Room
Haha nice
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