Poblanotes 2047.8- Comment Cards

[chicoruiz]

What was I thinking, anyway? In a burst of masochism, I had asked our season ticket holders to fill out comment cards. Maybe, I thought, if I could figure out what motivated someone to support a team such as ours, I could increase the turnstile count next year.

I had assigned an intern to go through the cards and separate the positive cards from the negative ones. The negative ones currently were stored in a large canvas drawstring mail bag on my office floor. I started by reading a few of them; half seemed to contain veiled threats against me; the other half unveiled ones. The positive ones, on the other hand, took up considerably less room; in fact, there were just six, sitting on my desk, held together by a paper clip. One lousy paper clip…

I picked them up and began to read:

“I like El Paso games because I know I can go to the concession stand when the Chilis are up and not worry about missing anything.”

“One thing for sure- it’s pretty obvious that none of the players are on performance-enhancing drugs.”

“My seats are on deep left-center field, and I’ve caught eight home run balls so far. Thanks, Chilis pitchers!”

“I have a heart condition, and my doctor told me to avoid crowds and excitement. So El Paso games are perfect for me.”

“Your players seem like nice guys, but maybe baseball isn’t their best sport. Maybe you should change to something else, like Red Rover or Duck Duck Goose.”

The last one at least held out some hope: “I’m a gardener, and I can only hope that the large amount of mulch your team spread out on the field this year means that in time we’ll get a bumper crop of actual baseball.”

Yeah…I like that. We’re not shit- we’re mulch…

[FuzzyRawley]

Man, these are harsh (checks Des Moines' Google Reviews)...nevermind, these aren't so bad.

[Dington]

I’d pay to watch professional duck duck goose.

[CTBrewCrew]

Pacemaker night at the chilis!