Poblanotes 2047.4- So This Is Rock Bottom

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chicoruiz
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Poblanotes 2047.4- So This Is Rock Bottom

Post by chicoruiz » Thu Jun 10, 2021 8:47 pm

Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m “Failure Face”.

Yep, that’s apparently what I’m called in the Chilis front office now. Chico Ruiz no longer. The way I overheard it, the movie “A Boy Named Charlie Brown” was on TV the other night, and Lucy sings a song by that name to Charlie Brown. Several of my staffers were watching it, and it occurred to them that that would be a perfect name for yours truly, given the way I mope around the office during our ongoing stretch of unbelievably horrible baseball.

I can’t really blame them. They’ve been part of a losing tradition here for so long that it must feel kind of good to finally have someone to look down on. Kind of like, “Okay, we’ve been bad, but this guy is so bad he’s making us look sooooo much better.” Glad to be of service, guys.

I can’t snap out of this funk. I knew it was going to be rough, but I didn’t know it was going to be record-settingly pathetic. I mean, five of my starting nine have OPS-es that are more than 100 points below their career marks; one has gone from .851 to .534. And the pitching; my supposed ace has a 6.75 ERA- and he’s probably still my ace.

I know things will get better. I have confidence that my staff is wrong, and that I know a good player when I see one, and by the end of the year I will have identified a handful of players that can be a part of a relevant Chilis team in the future. Plus I will have a Mongolian shit-ton of cash to spend. Come on, end of the year, come on…

In the meantime, my staff avoids me like I have leprosy, and I don’t really know anyone else in El Paso. So I hang out by myself, and go out to Tex-Mex restaurants by myself every night, and eat too much cheese and salt and sour cream and drink too many Coronas, all of which only serves to add a nasty, bloodshot, bloated aspect to my legendary Failure Face.
( “In baseball you don’t know nothin’...” Yogi Berra)

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Re: Poblanotes 2047.4- So This Is Rock Bottom

Post by usnspecialist » Thu Jun 10, 2021 8:55 pm

I mean, nowhere to go but up right
Randy Weigand

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Re: Poblanotes 2047.4- So This Is Rock Bottom

Post by Fat Nige » Fri Jun 11, 2021 1:11 am

The biggest thing in El Paso is the graveyard, it has a little plot in the far corner of all the GM's that have come come to die in El Paso
Nigel Laverick
(former GM of El Paso Chilis #WeWereShitty) ,
Now GM Riyadh Red Crescents #WeBeNotSoNewNow #WeAreJustAsShitty


Riyadh GM since May 2046

JL Manager of the Year 2000 (Baltimore Monarchs)
Nothing since


An MBBA GM since 1995 (off & on)

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Re: Poblanotes 2047.4- So This Is Rock Bottom

Post by jiminyhopkins » Fri Jun 11, 2021 3:54 pm

Don't worry, you play the Talons next sim. That'll set ya straight. We can't hit!
GM, 2051 and 2053 JL 4TH WILDCARD Phoenix Talons (2029-??), BBA
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