2038.15 On A Higher Plane - poor start to season

[felipe]

Wichita Genius, GM Hopkins, strolls into the visitor's clubhouse at Rockville's Ordinary Owen stadium. A noisy rambunctious room, suddenly turns deathly quiet.

"One and Six," The Genius announces to the room," We've started the season One and Six..." The Wichita players stare at the pacing GM with rapt attention...with the notable exception of backup catcher Andrew Van Antwerpen, who sits at his stall, angrily shaking his head.

"You Americans…" he mutters," You put ketchup on everything."

The Genius stops mid pace, flabbergasted," I beg your pardon?"

"In Belgium, we put mayonnaise on our French fries."

The backup catcher has succeeded where almost no one has before...the Genius is speechless.

"You what?" the Genius finally stammers.

"We are not playing soccer, we are not playing ice hockey," announces the backstop," There is no mysterious team element here..no one is 'making runs off the ball' here...Ed Curry is not forechecking hard, to create a turnover for me to 'roof daddy."

"Roof Daddy?!" The Genius seems ready to explode.

"Everything we do is easily quantifiable...I did this, he failed there...there is no 'team'...what everyone has done, is easy to see...for example, I drove in our only run today, and I called the game in which I allowed only three runs using several of our pitchers."

"I?!" The Genius turns a dangerous looking shade of purple.

"So please don't come in here, with a Rah Rah team speech or team tongue lashing or whatever it is the 'Great' Genius does," Van Antwerpen continues, "Oh, go ahead and talk to the guys who can't get on base or the pitchers that leave a hanging curve ball...but you don't need to include me in your discussions."

The Genius is quickly grabbed by coaches Bryan Walden and Boone Carlyle. The Genius struggles, but is momentarily held back by the large men.

"I can't believe we replacedScholsy with a piece of shit like you," roars the Genius.

"Oh yes," Van Antwerpen smirks," The mighty Scholes...his influence led you to 71 whole wins last season!...And by the way, kudos on him being dropped off of the Hall of Fame ballot his first year."

The coaches abruptly let the Genius go, and all advance on the Belgian.

"So you like Mayo?" asks 'Missing Link' Walden as he grabs the jar off of the clubhouse spread, and hits the Belgian upside the head. Glass shatters and mayonnaise covers the suddenly bloody Belgian.

The Belgian slumps to the floor, unconscious.

Carlyle nudges the prone figure with his foot, "I'll get a crate ready to ship him back to Nashville in."

The Genius turns back to the remainder of the team.

"One and six..." he begins.

[RonCo]

Well, the guy had a point.