The Avion Flew...2034.01

[felipe]

International Man of Mystery, sex symbol, Thomas Magnum, was found in Wichita this week...talking...baseball?

TMZ cameras found the billionaire in a small barn in rural Kansas, reclining in his tuxedo on a hay bale, a bevy of beautiful farmer's daughters clutching at his pant legs.

The billionaire playboy calmly sipped from his martini as the drunken hayseeds romped all around him throughout the barn, excitedly punching each other over the strains of the out of tune fiddles, banjos, and washtubs.

"Mr. Magnum, Thomas, what are you doing in Kansas?"the TMZ reporter excitedly shouted up at the regal figure.

The magnificent one peered down over the top of his haute couture glasses, (surely a fashion statement, a God among men like Magnum would surely never have need of such things)," I have come to aid the good, but simple, people of Kansas, with the gift of Brewster Baseball. I will, in short order, have a state of the art park built and then I will accept a Brewster baseball expansion franchise to play in it."

"Baseball?!"stammered the TMZ reporter,"But what about Hollywood? Monaco? Paris? The jet setting life?"

"I am getting older now,"Magnum replied, (although you would never know it, the muscles twitch and shift under his flawlessly tailored suit, mesmerizing in their way), the man was rumoured to fight terrorists in extreme conditions whenever the fancy hit him and by looking at him, who could disbelieve the stories?

"I feel I can spend some time with the simpler folk."continued the sex symbol, the farmers daughters' sighing at his every duculet tone, " The good rural people that feed this great nation of ours. Teach them some culture. Get them out of their barns and into the world. I believe that Americans are good people. Well...mostly...we all know what those simpletons in Yellow Springs and Huntsville are like."

"Yellow Springs? Huntsville?" The TMZ reporter stopped, gulped, and looked closer at the dashing figure on the hay bale. The reporter felt as if he was staring off of the edge of a precipice. He felt dizzy, light-headed...and he was sure it was more than just the colourless odorless liquid fire he had ingested when he had first entered the barn.

It was true. Noone had ever seen the Genius, the General Manager of the world renowned Louisville Sluggers, in the same room at the same time as the international man of mystery, Thomas Magnum. And weren't they about the same age? About the same height? About the same weight?

In fact, wasn't the only discernible difference between the two men, the incredible and expertly groomed and sexy mustauche that sat upon the man of mystery's face? Was the self made playboy billionaire, in fact, the Genius?

The realisation hit the reporter like a ton of bricks. Did that mean, that the sexiest mustauche in the history of the world, was fake?

[bcslouck]

Can you really be a sex symbol if you can't grow a real, sexy mustache?

[RonCo]

He shaves it every morning and by 5:00 it's back.

Or it's on his back.

Whatever.

[Lane]

Bravo.

[RonCo]

I admit I'm getting a weird dissonance when I scan down the team news pages and don't see my YS9 at the bottom of the stack. It'll be good when we get things sorted alphabetically again, assuming we do.

[Fat Nige]

I wouldn’t have minded so much but he locked me in the office cupboard while he was off sticking his dick in hay bales