A large police presence and media circus descended on the Phoenix area suburb of Surprise this morning.
Specifically, the IHOP located on Bell Rd., just down the street from the Surprise Town Center shopping area.
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According to various media sources, Phoenix Talons owner Brian Fisher was found at the 24 hour restaurant sometime after 2:30am in the men's restroom, deceased. Maricopa county coroner's office confirmed the news this morning to the Phoenix Sun Times Post Dispatch (One of Phoenix's Finest NewspapersTM) investigative news bureau.
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Sources from the restaurant confirm that Mr. Fisher had been seen earlier that night in his favorite booth, eating the restaurant's famous "Create Your Own Pancake" combo, which this newspaper has learned can contain up to 1150 calories. Due to Mr. Fisher's advanced age, those calories caused a diabetic episode which later resulted in the team owner's death.
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The Talons issued a statement regarding the tragedy:
"Central Arizona Concessions LLC dba Phoenix Talons Base Ball Club Inc. express their deepest sympathy to the loss of our beloved team owner. We are sending positive thoughts toward his family and friends at this difficult time. Fans should rest assured that team operations will proceed as before while the franchise transitions to a new ownership group," the statement read.
The Talons reclusive GM was more succinct. "Brian was great and gave me a crap ton of money to blow however I wanted. But to go out at an IHOP? Serves him right. This is Denny's country!" the GM said.
Farewell, Mr. Fisher, you will be missed!
GO TALONS!!
