2051-0002: Talons Draft Your Mom
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2022 7:01 pm
Phoenix, AZ--
Night shifts at the local neighborhood iron smelter can get boring. But for the Talons' Reclusive GM, its all he knows. Drawbacks remain, of course, when said GM is also trying to run an internet baseball franchise as a day job.
One such situation arose last night, as the GM waited to clock out from his overnight shift. Checking the interwebs, he cursed to himself when he noticed that his BBA franchise had been up next in the draft ever since 7:30pm, shortly after he clocked into his shift. The pick expired at 11am, and the GM did not want to stay up after he got home. So, glancing at the timeclock, he had 9 minutes left to make his draft selection on his phone before punching out and driving home. Checking the draft pool, the GM was relieved when he saw Your Mom.
The pick was made with dispatch. After all, Your Mom had low greed and was willing to work for cheap. In fact, one could say that Your Mom was available. The GM called Your Mom and plans were made to report to Traverse City, where there are, at any given time, at least 40 guys who are definitely looking forward to meeting Your Mom.
Players and staff were contacted by this publication to gather their thoughts about the rookie club's newest addition. "Oh, we've all heard about Your Mom," said TC Talons manager Albert Martinez. "I mean, who hasn't?" Starting pitcher Jeffery Flowers concurred. "Oh yeah, ever since high school, I heard that Your Mom could play any position, most times multiple positions every night. But I think DH is best right now, because everyone knows that Your Mom sure can handle the bat," he remarked. "And, as we all know, Your Mom loves nothing more than getting to second base, or even third base if the opportunity is there."
Other teammates were excited about the team's newest player. Stories were told about Your Mom's legendary exploits. "I heard about this one game, Your Mom was in the box and took a hit-by-pitch on the cheekbone with the bases loaded. It just goes to show that Your Mom will gladly take one to the face if it helps a guy score," said 1B Kent Landry. Fellow rookie Jodie Hanna was also looking forward to her new teammate. "Us newbies have to help out during batting practice," Jodie said. "Good thing Your Mom has ample experience in shagging balls, especially balls deep in the gap," Hanna concluded.
"The main thing is, we are a team here in Traverse City," manager Martinez remarked. "In fact, we like to think of our club as a railroad, because we are all travelling to the same destination, and that's the big leagues."
"And from what I heard, Your Mom will have no problem running this train."
Night shifts at the local neighborhood iron smelter can get boring. But for the Talons' Reclusive GM, its all he knows. Drawbacks remain, of course, when said GM is also trying to run an internet baseball franchise as a day job.
One such situation arose last night, as the GM waited to clock out from his overnight shift. Checking the interwebs, he cursed to himself when he noticed that his BBA franchise had been up next in the draft ever since 7:30pm, shortly after he clocked into his shift. The pick expired at 11am, and the GM did not want to stay up after he got home. So, glancing at the timeclock, he had 9 minutes left to make his draft selection on his phone before punching out and driving home. Checking the draft pool, the GM was relieved when he saw Your Mom.
The pick was made with dispatch. After all, Your Mom had low greed and was willing to work for cheap. In fact, one could say that Your Mom was available. The GM called Your Mom and plans were made to report to Traverse City, where there are, at any given time, at least 40 guys who are definitely looking forward to meeting Your Mom.
Players and staff were contacted by this publication to gather their thoughts about the rookie club's newest addition. "Oh, we've all heard about Your Mom," said TC Talons manager Albert Martinez. "I mean, who hasn't?" Starting pitcher Jeffery Flowers concurred. "Oh yeah, ever since high school, I heard that Your Mom could play any position, most times multiple positions every night. But I think DH is best right now, because everyone knows that Your Mom sure can handle the bat," he remarked. "And, as we all know, Your Mom loves nothing more than getting to second base, or even third base if the opportunity is there."
Other teammates were excited about the team's newest player. Stories were told about Your Mom's legendary exploits. "I heard about this one game, Your Mom was in the box and took a hit-by-pitch on the cheekbone with the bases loaded. It just goes to show that Your Mom will gladly take one to the face if it helps a guy score," said 1B Kent Landry. Fellow rookie Jodie Hanna was also looking forward to her new teammate. "Us newbies have to help out during batting practice," Jodie said. "Good thing Your Mom has ample experience in shagging balls, especially balls deep in the gap," Hanna concluded.
"The main thing is, we are a team here in Traverse City," manager Martinez remarked. "In fact, we like to think of our club as a railroad, because we are all travelling to the same destination, and that's the big leagues."
"And from what I heard, Your Mom will have no problem running this train."