2050-0001: Talons Achieve New Low, Sellout Ballpark Named for WW2 Veteran in Exchange for Corporate Cash, Fans Perplexed
Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2022 5:50 am
Phoenix, AZ--
The Talons, fresh off another horrible season, decided to alienate their fans further with a corporate naming rights scheme.
"We figured, hey, we already have the World's Largest Denny'sTM in center field, so why not go a little further and get ourselves some quick cash to make up for the crushing deficit we ran last season?" a Talons marketing intern said.
So, the Talons sought out another local, well known company to complement their scheme. Then they remembered... Talons Subaru! "Yeah so in addition to that Denny's, we also run our own Subaru dealership right across the street from the ballpark," the intern said.
But what about Paul D. Lunn, whom the current stadium is named after? The Army Air Force veteran killed in action in 1944 when his bomber was shot down? The reclusive Talons GM assured fans thus: "I pledge to you that the memory of my great uncle will always live on. His sacrifice helped the Allies in their ultimate victory against fascism."
"But we really need the money so we think we found a good compromise," the GM said. "So now we present to you...."
THE DENNY'S PAUL D. LUNN MEMORIAL STADIUM PRESENTED BY SUBARU
According to the Talons, Subaru of America, Inc. will pay 2.5 million for the rights, and Denny's Holdings LLC will pay another 2.5 million. The Talons have also indicated that a portion of the naming rights fee will benefit local war veterans organizations.
However, some fans were not impressed. "Don't they know that Subaru, the car company, used to be the Nakajima Aircraft Company, which literally built enemy aircraft in World War 2?? This team must be absolutely brain dead," the fan said.
Go Talons!
The Talons, fresh off another horrible season, decided to alienate their fans further with a corporate naming rights scheme.
"We figured, hey, we already have the World's Largest Denny'sTM in center field, so why not go a little further and get ourselves some quick cash to make up for the crushing deficit we ran last season?" a Talons marketing intern said.
So, the Talons sought out another local, well known company to complement their scheme. Then they remembered... Talons Subaru! "Yeah so in addition to that Denny's, we also run our own Subaru dealership right across the street from the ballpark," the intern said.
But what about Paul D. Lunn, whom the current stadium is named after? The Army Air Force veteran killed in action in 1944 when his bomber was shot down? The reclusive Talons GM assured fans thus: "I pledge to you that the memory of my great uncle will always live on. His sacrifice helped the Allies in their ultimate victory against fascism."
"But we really need the money so we think we found a good compromise," the GM said. "So now we present to you...."
THE DENNY'S PAUL D. LUNN MEMORIAL STADIUM PRESENTED BY SUBARU
According to the Talons, Subaru of America, Inc. will pay 2.5 million for the rights, and Denny's Holdings LLC will pay another 2.5 million. The Talons have also indicated that a portion of the naming rights fee will benefit local war veterans organizations.
However, some fans were not impressed. "Don't they know that Subaru, the car company, used to be the Nakajima Aircraft Company, which literally built enemy aircraft in World War 2?? This team must be absolutely brain dead," the fan said.
Go Talons!
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