2046-00000000000000000000000000000000000001: Talons Write Only Team News of Season, Look Forward to Being on "Probation"

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

Yeah, so the Talons finished yet another shitty year, missing the playoffs on the final sim for the THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR.

In fact, the Talons had not planned on writing a single Team News at all this season, having laid off the Talons Electronic Media and Forum Posting Department last spring. As long as the club had 20 PPTs available for their customary reliever conversion, all would be well. The club would be demoted to "Not in Good Standing" and have to go on 'Probation", but who cares. I mean, without "ted", or Vic (rest easy, friend), no one is left to comment on our stories anyway. But then I saw the -2 points that I got at the All Star break, and I realized, with 20.5 points available, if I get two more negative points, I can't do my reliever conversion. So I gotta write this. You know?

And by the way, hi, I'm Sean, and I have to write this shit myself because I laid off the TEMAFPD. And frankly I'm super pissed because my team sucks and I keep missing the playoffs by a game or two every year. So fuck this place.

Anyway, since this is the only Team News of the Year, I guess I should tell you about some aspect of the team. So, looks like Pedro Guzman has won the HR title for the second time in three years. Oh, and I see that Ian Patrick Anderson will be the second consecutive Talons scrap-heap SS to win a Gold Glove. And my best starting pitcher, Jose Rodriguez, is actually a reliever that I use as an opener.

Anyway, enough bullshit about this team. See you next season, fam. Bring on Probation!

[usnspecialist]

Point of order, your signature is incorrect. You are not on probation currently.

[jiminyhopkins]

Point of order, your signature is incorrect. You are not on probation currently.

Point taken. I rescind my previous signature motion and move to adopt a new signature.

[tylertoo]

Does a reply to your own team news count as a new team news?

[HerbD]

[Jwalk100]

Awesome!

[Lane]

Really hoping to see the phenix concessions company/car dealership back in the playoffs in 2047

[7teen]

I read this TN.

And commented.

[aaronweiner]

How mad do you think he'll be to know that probation also comes with a 50% PPT dock?

Also the league office has deliberated and we have decided that any further Phoenix TN this year, should it be forthcoming, must have the same number of zeros or not be counted.

[Fat Nige]

TN protests like this should result in the TN requirements be exponentially increased every year the requirement is not met and loss of players/draft picks each time lol

[jiminyhopkins]

How mad do you think he'll be to know that probation also comes with a 50% PPT dock?

Wait what?? For PPTs this year or during the probation year??

On second thought tho, if true, this means I should try to earn the LEAST amount of points possible, which will reduce the penalty in an absolute sense. I'll only lose 10 PPT if I stop right now!

[jiminyhopkins]

TN protests like this should result in the TN requirements be exponentially increased every year the requirement is not met and loss of players/draft picks each time lol

I guess losing players or draft picks would really suck if I actually had good players and/or could draft worth a damn lol

[aaronweiner]

How mad do you think he'll be to know that probation also comes with a 50% PPT dock?

Wait what?? For PPTs this year or during the probation year??

fhmnghm.png




On second thought tho, if true, this means I should try to earn the LEAST amount of points possible, which will reduce the penalty in an absolute sense. I'll only lose 10 PPT if I stop right now!

Really can't argue with that logic.

That's what logic looks like, right?

[aaronweiner]

Oh, and never mind. Apparently I forgot we changed the rules a few years back. You have to make up the points later somehow; it's no longer a 50% dock. Check with Ron.

[jiminyhopkins]

Oh, and never mind. Apparently I forgot we changed the rules a few years back. You have to make up the points later somehow; it's no longer a 50% dock. Check with Ron.

Lol I don't know the rules anyway. Haha

If I don't have enough points to do my conversion, I'll just trade the guy to someone, have them convert and I'll trade for him back lol

[shoeless.db]

Umm. Can you point me to the restroom?