2045-00011: Talons Owner Has Mild Stroke, Increases Budget by 10 Million; Talons GM Immediately Blows it on IFA Pitcher

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

In a fit of ischemic delusion, the Talons owner summarily increased the Talons budget by 10 million dollars last week.

With the Talons being up against the cap, well, the Talons GM figured he might as well blow that extra cash in the most useless way possible. And, lo and behold, the International Free Agent market beckoned.

So, for a small fee of 7 million dollars, plus a 2 million dollar penalty for going over the spending cap, the Talons have a 16 year old IFA pitcher of their very own. "We figured, hey, free money!" The Talons GM said. "And there was actually an IFA pitcher who had a miniscule chance of being a viable BBA starter in about a half decade or so. What better way to exemplify effective stewardship of our beloved owner's hard earned cash??"

Kartik Pulkit will join the Talons IFA academy in Vega Baja, PR. He definitely has the tools to become a BBA starter, with three good pitches and slightly above average movement and control. The Talons have had good luck so far with their previous big IFA signee Rajeshkumar Simha, so Pulkit will be able to hopefully follow in his countryman's footsteps in due time.

Go talons!

[Ted]

[HoosierVic]

Is this the first team news item in BBA history to use the phrase “ischemic delusion”? If so, Chicago believes it should be worth 3 points. Of course, that could be our delusions talking ...

[recte44]

He certainly won’t suffer from myopia

[tylertoo]

Imagine if he'd had a major stroke.

[jiminyhopkins]

Is this the first team news item in BBA history to use the phrase “ischemic delusion”? If so, Chicago believes it should be worth 3 points. Of course, that could be our delusions talking ...

Note to @RonCo for tracking purposes...

[RonCo]

Takes it under ischemic advisement.