2043-00019: Talons Announce Second Annual Bullshit Minor League Awards

[jiminyhopkins]

Phoenix, AZ--

Yep, it's that time of year again. Time to take a stroll through the Phoenix minor league system and see which players are deserving of this season's BMLA's. Without further adeiauoux, here they are!

The Please Go Away Award:
This year, the honor goes to AAA Ashland Slowriders pitcher Bob Corrigan. Once a highly touted starter for the Talons in his early 20's, Bob had a couple of 3 WAR seasons before he started declining. After he tore his labrum (go figure), the club let him go, only to feel sorry for him and re-sign him to a minor league pity-party deal in 2041. After that, he kinda just kept hanging around, and last year he recorded a 0-11 record and 7.10 ERA for the Slowriders. The Talons have begged him not to come back, but who knows what he's gonna do??

The Least Number of At Bats Award:
The plaque this year will be hung on the wall of 3B Koki Suto, who actually managed to record less at bats (3) than total years in the organization.His three at bats came in a single game for the lowest minor league team on May 30th, and only then because he was a substitution in a 16 inning game. He had one base hit, a single. Suto was literally released two days later and is still out of a job. Congratulations, Koki!!!!

The Why is This Guy Still Here Award:
Yep, you guessed it, the One Dollar Man, Ethan Treloar! Yep, he not only was drafted for a dollar, and then released; he also re-signed for one dollar! So yes, he has made a total of two whole dollars in his Talons career, which will enter its fifth season in 2044. I mean, come on. Where does OOTP get away with saying this guy has high Greed??

Minor League Shortstop of the Year Award:
Congrats to this year's recipient, Phoenix Talons SS Voitto Stromberg! Great job, buddy! Take those negative 2 Wars and shove it!

[Fat Nige]

Great piece

[jiminyhopkins]

Wait til the next one.